Golf and Sex: Bursting at the Seams

I take fashion pretty seriously...especially, when the clothing involved asks that we suspend all notions of practicality. And double especially, when it's some form of cuckoo [golfing!] lingerie.


Looking to create the online athletic couture unveiling of the season, this was sent my way by UK designer boutique Mio Destino.

The golfing bra is, quote, "the answer for all golf lovers who feel they neglect their lady."

"So the next time your partner asks if you ‘fancy a tee?’ she won’t be putting the kettle on, oh no! She will be opening her lingerie drawer and whipping out the fun new set from Mio Destino"

The golfing bra is nearing the final stages of development (I'm thinking the dangling golf balls on tassels might get left out of the on-the-course version), and the set is available for £300.

Link:

Mio Destino Golfing Lingerie

U.S. Wins Ryder Cup, Again!

Little did we know that United States' victory last week in the Ryder Cup would not only mark the U.S.'s first victory in competition since 1999, but also a two-for-two in International team golf events in the past month.

I'm not sure what's more impressive, ending that near-decade long drought, or this...

On Aug. 22, Team USA capped off an impressive 14 1/2 to 9 1/2 victory over an International squad, in the annual College Park Cup, which is basically the Ryder Cup for amputee golfers.


The College Park Cup, first held in 1998, was founded by College Park Industries, a company that specializes in the manufacturing prosthetic limbs for athlete amputees. CPI also hosts the Extremity Games, an extreme sports competition for those who've lost limbs that was inaugurated last year.

Check out this amazing clip of a man demonstrating amputee golf...



Links:

Amputee golfers do well at international tourney (St. Petersburg Times)
NAGAgolf.org

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 24, 2008

photo credit

Kings of Leon rocked Webster Hall last night. And Rolling Stone has deemed their newly released album Epic.

NAME THAT FALL TV STAR (The World or Isaac)
The Office: Sports Edition (NE Patriots Draft)
Rising NHLer KO’d By Evil Golf Cart (Sports By Brooks)
Keith Olbermann: The Goof That Changed The Game (via The Big Lead)
Diagnosing Chuck Klosterman (via Pop Candy)

...and here's KOL at Webster Hall back in 2005.

GOLFERS RESCUE PASSENGERS FROM PLANE CRASH!

Heroic linksmen ran to the aid of two passengers of a single engine Cessna that crashed shortly after a failed landing yesterday afternoon in Carlsbad, CA.

CARLSBAD – Golfers pulled two injured men from their two-seat plane that crashed into a ravine late yesterday afternoon after a touch-and-go takeoff from McClellan-Palomar Airport, authorities said.

The single-engine Cessna 152, rented in Long Beach, hit a brushy slope near the 16th hole of The Crossings at Carlsbad golf course, about half a mile northwest of the runway. (via SignOnSanDiego.com)

The golfers heard the plane sputtering overhead, before it went down falling 30-feet into a ravine! The two passengers, 19 and 22, suffered only fractures and cuts, and were said to be "alert but confused" as they were taken from the scene.

LINK:

Plane crashes into ravine; pilot, passenger hurt (San Diego Union-Tribune)

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 23, 2008

Kings of Leon celebrate today's release of their new album Only By The Night with a show at Webster Hall in NYC tonight. I'll be there, it should be pretty rockin'.

British Media Happily Teeing Off on Nick Faldo (FANHOUSE)
Four Major Labels Make Deal To Release Memory Card Albums (Rolling Stone ROCK N' ROLL DAILY)
Warren Sapp Sets Miami Football Back 25 Years (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Even Ronnie Lott Knows The SEC Is Awesome (MoonDog Sports)
Magnetic Fields' Merritt Inspires Line of Footwear (Pitchfork Media)

Tiger Woods Putts a Rubick's Cube...

c/o milk and cookies.



He read that sharp right-to-left break nicely.

John Daly Tees Off a Beer Can

The proprietor of Murder Rock Golf Course is back at it again... (via i-am-so-bored)



What they don't want you to know, is that he teen wolfed a beer on the next hole.



LINKS:

Even with his game in decline, Daly still a draw (AP)

Taking it to the Links!

photo credit

In an amusing display of Korean nationalism, a golf course in Taebeck, Gaegwon put a Korean flag in the Dokdo part of a Korean Peninsula-shaped sand trap.

Initially, I thought those mini-bunkers were to make you feel like a real jerk if your ball ended up there.

The fanfare marks a revision made last week to the U.S. Board on Geographic Names’ website that classified those disputed islets as territory belonging to no country, which was overturned by your lame duck chief and mine: George W. Bush - who grounds his club in the sand regularly. (ho!)

Seoul applauded Thursday a US decision to relist South Korea as owners of a group of tiny islands, amid a simmering dispute with Japan over claims to the territory.

President George W. Bush said a US agency was reversing its week-long decision that classified in its database the chain of rocky islets as territory belonging to no country.

"As to the database, I asked (Secretary of State Condoleezza) Rice to review it and the database will be restored to where it was ... seven days ago," Bush told a group of Asian reporters at the White House. (SKorea hails US decision on disputed islets)

FedEx Cup '08 Commericial

The television spot for FedEx Cup 2008 - Sans Tigris, of course - makes me laugh...



/easily amused, sue me.

...It bears mentioning that I aspire to never work anywhere with video conferencing capabilities.

Why are there multiple aerial views of Natalie Gulbis' House on this site?

In the interest of full disclosure, I found this through my Natalie Gulbis RSS feed - which is not at all weird or creepy to subscribe to.

Now an aggregate of all the aerial views of her house on the other hand...



I'm purely an advocate of the Gulbis brand, that is sort of creeperish. To be fair, they're stalking other celebrities on this site, not just the future Mrs. Curly. (For example, Celine Dion lives 1.5 km from Natalie, apparently)

Win a Date with Natalie Gulbis!

RSM McGladrey is holding an essay contest to win a date with Natalie Gulbis.

Essay contest? Apparently, they've been reading my blog posts on the resurgence of kickball, and have realized that everyone wishes they were still in fourth grade.

It has to be under-200 words. Lucky for Natalie, I am as succinct as I am suave.


Top-3 reasons Natalie and I are perfect for each other:

1. My dream job...pro caddy (though I'd give it all up in heartbeat to be Natalie's human golf tee)



2. I've put myself on a thirty year plan to join the Champion Tour - plan to shave a stroke, and add a yard of driving distance per year.


3. I'll take a Wii golf babe over Wii fit babes any day of the week

(photo via Busted Coverage)

Supposedly the theme of the essay is Who's Behind Your Success? However, I figure it will be hard to argue with my above reasoning...especially when I'm so goddam independently successful

Go check it out, and maybe you'll have a shot at one of the runner-up prizes like the SkyCaddie measuring device.

Toss the Burner: July 14, 2008

It took me an hour and a half to get to work today on the subway... it usually takes about 25 minutes.

Sitting there, stagnant, I thought... this is so goddam awesome! what could make this better?


... then somebody farted. Dick. Move.

Alas. I'm gonna go toast a bagel, and put butter and peanut butter on that guy. Check these out:

• Here Comes The Olympic Hoops Qualifier (Fanhouse)
• New Sport: “Naked Rock Climbing” (Deuce of Davenport)
• Would Anyone Like to Know the Whereabouts of Mike Hargrove? (Tirico Suave)
• Who Had the Worst Week (Bugs & Cranks)
• A Modest Proposal For the 2008 Ryder Cup (Rumors and Rants)
• Anatomy of Sports Blogger Slump (The Legend of Cecilio Guante)
• Stephen A. Smith Loses His Mind on ESPN When Talking About Favre (Awful Announcing)
• The Sports Delorean: WWF Vignettes (Joe Sports Fan)
  

When is Creamer Going Off Today?

Paula Creamer - whose name is so suggestive it turns you into Beavis - carded a course record 60 yesterday in the first round of the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic. Creamer birdied nine of her last 11 holes.

Playing partner Natalie Gulbis, who really mailed it in with 74, said of Creamer, "she's a birdie machine!"


Well said, Natalie. I'm definitely aroused.

These two rivals in LPGA babedom are paired together again today. And as usual, I've done scrupulous research leading up to their tee time... here's a swing comparison:



I didn't hear a goddam word she just said. I know a little about golf, so I'll summarize what we're seeing here...torque.

Unadulterated...sexified...torque.

Creamer Shoots 60, Leads LPGA's Farr by Five Strokes

Golfers Robbed at Gun Point on the 16th Tee...

No word yet on what they're calling this guy...the Tee Box Bandit, the Putting Green Prowler, the Winter Rules Looter?...

The robbery took place this past Saturday at Brynwood Golf Club outside Milwaukee.

When the party of six, four golfers and two caddies, reached the 16th tee shortly after 11 a.m. a lone gunman emerged from nearby woods and said, “Give me your money,” according to police. (from JSonline)


It has not yet been released how much this sandbaggin' predator made off with. But all BCC caddies should know that the Caddy scholarship is still up for grabs...so start showing up for work with a glock and always keep your head on a swivel.

...the Mulligan Mugger, the Pitch 'n Putt Perp, the Lateral Hazard Larcenist?

Barkley Stays Debt Free...

He could always make a gentlemen’s bet with Lou Holtz for who will come in dead last, right?




On a conference call this week for the American Century Golf Championship, Jason Kidd said that Barkley is staying on the wagon:

“I was at a recent event with Charles in Palm Springs and we were at a casino. While he could have been tempted by the surroundings, he did not participate. I think once he makes up his mind not to do something, he sticks with it and will be alright.”

Barkley is a 500-1 underdog to win the Celebrity-Am Tournament that takes place in Lake Tahoe the first week in July. Lou Holtz, Brandy Chastain, and Kevin Nealon are the next biggest underdogs at 300-1.

On Barkley’s golf, Kidd said:

“Everyone knows he’s the worst golfer. But he’s also one of the funniest and most popular. But he is the worst golfer I’ve ever seen.”

Cause the sand trap is not for that...

Visionary Urologist (is there any other kind?) Floyd Seskin gives you the UroClub. It's precisely the type of golf club you'd expect a lemon doc to invent...the type you can pee into.

Ever been on the golf course, knocking back a few beers, when nature calls? It may be against club rules to duck into the rough for a leak—that's why the UroClub, developed by awesome urologist Floyd Seskin, is an answer to your prayers. Just place an inconspicuous towel over your junk, unscrew the cap of the club disguised to look like a 7-iron, and whiz away—up to half a liter. (via Gizmodo).

A life-long golfer, two things I was taught at a young age:

1. Don't go past parallel on your back swing
2. On the course, the World is your urinal.
   

Still, hats off to Gizmodo for the post...

We're thinking the Eureka moment came when Seskin was hanging out in the wide-grip putter section of a Nevada Bob's Discount Store.

If John Daly Wasn't Already Your Personal Hero...

shoeless, shirtless, cigarette in mouth...at on205th, I bow to thee for posting this first.



Fox, I take back everything bad I've said about your Ozarks affiliate in the past.


The name of Daly's course - The Murder Rock Golf Course. In case you'd like to suggest that I failed to visit Daly's course website, I didn't.

There's a legend heard around the hollows of Branson Creek about Murder Rock, a place where Civil War bushwhacker Alfred Bolin and his gang were known to ambush travelers.

That's actual copy from murderrock.com. Sadly, there is no merch for sale on the site.

You can look up playing partner Johnny Lee yourself.

...oh, and here's to waking up everyday and not having man boobs.

Toss the Burner: April 25, 2007

Natalie Gulbis, redux.

Check out Busted Coverage to see the evil idea brought forth by the menace J Koot. And be on the lookout over there for my personal birthday message to a certain EA.

(Been a while since I threw up some) Inspired Thoughts:

"...the punk kid asked me if i wanted a "new" camera, as if i was going to say, "nah, its cool, gimme a used one, i dont care...", i walked out of the store before he could even put a period on the end of his sentence."

said, C. Bley, regarding a trip to Circus City last night to purchase a digital camera.

More posts later...maybe a tribute to Wes Snipes (doing a three year bid)...maybe some Patriot Draft Day recommendations. Should be time for both.

mmmm, nuhnuhnuh!

Is that a Graphite Shaft?

Sitting in my in-box when I got to work this morning.

/it's gonna be a good day.


...oh man, what I wouldn't give.