Friday, October 10, 2008


After the rip-roaring success of the politically charged Great "Bailouts" in Sports History, I decided to go back to the well and poll the sports blogging intelligentsia on issues quasi-related to Decision '08. This week's topic:


It may seem a little (or entirely) taboo right now, given the economic ground and pound, however, I'll point to a story in this week's New Yorker by Peter Boyer (The Appalachian Problem) on Obama's campaigning in Appalachia, in an attempt to siphon votes away from McCain and take the state of West Virginia . Boyer brings up former Democratic Governor Mark Warner, who fought an uphill battle to get into office, and repaid the voters of the region by getting Virginia Tech into the ACC. Since VT joined the conference, their men's basketball team earned its first NCAA Tournament berth, and the football team was able to expand Lane Stadium. All the while, creating heightened interest in V-Tech sports in and around the region - translating into additional revenue, not to mention jobs, in the state.

In the same light, I'm suggesting Obama vow to get Memphis out of Conference U.S.A, to appeal to the economically liberal, socially conservative voters of Tennessee. (And Alabama's UAB faithful.)

If he so chose, he could mix in some lackadaisical foreign policy while catering to the Memphis populus - who can see Germantown from their houses (nod to Scott from for that one!)

Here are some other campaign promises the sports blogosphere would like to hear coming out of the political arena in the final month of the race. And Since Obama and McCain already downplayed anti-steroids legislation (thanks Phil, from CheatorBeat, for that), they could use something to get sports fans going...

"[The candidates] should focus their campaign on adopting the 'Francesca Football Plan' which involves replacing the final two NFL exhibition games with regular season games. This plan, which I first heard mentioned by WFAN Legend (in his own mind) Mike Francesca, would expand the NFL regular season to 18 total games and in doing so would push the SuperBowl back two weeks to the Sunday just prior to Presidents Day. This would create an official, govt. sanctioned three-day SuperBowl Holiday weekend and subsequently do away with the most 'called-out' workday of the year." (Chris "Shorty" Smith, BadChoiceMilk)

The incremental plan to increase the amount of football is as brilliant as Francesca is insufferable.

Have you seen the Mike Francesca Show? Who in their right mind would watch that one gurgle for a half-hour late Sunday night when you're faded from a full-day of football?

Jimmy Traina from has a simpler suggestion for how our chief commander could improve the NFL: "Whoever is elected president needs to make the Monday after the Super Bowl a national holiday"

The Super Bowl is already a well established, polished glutton fest. But this would set off a spending spree that would rival black friday. It would all be contained to beer and protein, but still. (plus I think I'd like to live in country where those things helped drive the economy). The real benefit, however, is the money saved by companies closing on a clear no-work work day.

Bares mentioning that I'm actively looking for a politician to run for office on the four-day work week platform. The Super Bowl holiday could seamlessly be included as buffer.

NBA blogger Trey Kerby (The Blowtorch) would like your candidates to abolish the shooting game at the All-Star Game, and mandate a one-on-one tournament.

The score of last year's All-Star game was 134-128 - 260 points, yet almost an unwatchable game. It's a combined point total that's only rival is that of the Dow Jones Industrial losses over the last week. What do they have in common? Both are pretty boring to follow, yet there is undeniably something wrong happening.

Forget NBA All-Star regulation though, what we need is NBA relegation. I'd like to see the president vow to protect against lame duck teams who mail in the end of the year so they have 25% chance of getting the #1 pick in the lottery. You tank, congratulations, welcome to the D-League. Have fun spending a year throttling post-pubescant 19-year olds (that run, and run, and run) in Sioux Falls for a year.

Here are some additional ideas to get people flocking to the polls:

Start a professional ice hockey league! Wait, ... (Doug Sheckler, Epic Carnival, on205th Magazine)

Here's a thought - make instant replay mandatory in every sport. Everything is reviewable, especially missed calls. (Moon Dog Sports)

"There needs to be a plus one system playoff for D1 college football. The top 4 play and the winners play in a final game. This will keep the pundits happy that still want to keep the smaller bowls, and it will still allow for a lot of pork barrel spending at the AT&T Cotton Bowl, AutoZone, Liberty Bowl, Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, Brut Sun Bowl, Capital One Bowl,Champs Sports Bowl..." (Ethan Jaynes, NESW Sports)

...etc., etc., etc., etc. (great ref. to pork barrel spending!)

"Being that Ohio is a battleground state, Obama should campaign to get better coaching for the bengals and browns. I'd say the same about michigan...but mccain's already conceded it and the lions are a lost cause anyway." (Dan, InGameNow)

Swing states are going to make or break this election, and both candidates have already vowed to examine and take down programs that aren't working (I think they were mainly talking about government bureaucracy, however.)

Do your civic duty, and vote for the platform that will get our presidential candidates your vote on November 4:

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BallHype: hype it up!


MoonDog said...

Do you live in Memphis? You know I do - well, Bartlett actually.

Great post. I'll link to this later.

Mike said...

Ha! Actually I live in NYC. But I've been to Memphis, and it's a hell of a town!

ethanator1088 said...

Sweet post. Instant replay for all and a BCS plus one playoff system in everyone's Christmas stalking.

I'll vote for that guy! :-)