Wednesday, July 9, 2008

God Save The Wheedle!

Oklahoma City will inevitably brick when they select the mascot for their as of now unnamed NBA franchise.

I have no faith in the mascot moniker selection process. When I was in High School, the school's administration decided it was no longer (never at any point) P.C. for our mascot to be the Indians. We came damn close to becoming the yaks as I recall... and then, seemingly overnight, we became the nighthawks.

What kind of hawk? Don't strain yourself, chief. Nighthawks don't exist. We went from being something predatorial from the Himalayas, straight to fantasyland.

All you Okie kids holding out hope that your team is going to be something sweet like the Capitol City Dusters of Doom, give up hope. It's a futile enterprise.

Remember what happened with the last shake-up? The Charlotte Hornets moved to New Orleans and became...actually they stayed the Hornets. The NBA is devoid of creativity; Oklahoma City, the best you can probably hope for is the Ado Annies.

That is why Supersonicsoul reminds us that it is important today that we remember The Wheedle, who from what I can tell was a pretty stand-up mascot.

First off, he looks like a close relative of Grimace, who like beers and has a diet that consists entirely of rare steak.

The Wheedle was the Sonics mascot from 1974 to 1985, and was part of a championship Sonics squad. There is no doubt that him and D.J. were boys.

He was replaced by Squatch, short for Sasquatch, also known as Big Foot. No shame in going down to guy like that. When you looked like Chewy in the mid-80s you pretty much made your own rules.

A lesser known fact, after the Sonics, the Wheedle went on the play lead guitar in the Seattle grunge outfit Love Battery.

Finally though, prior to all of this, a 1974 children's book suggested that at one point The Wheedle gathered up all the clouds in the Pacific Northwest and put them over Seattle causing the dismal weather conditions that plague the city even today.

...that's right, he is the guy who made it rain.

I can only hope that you land on a mascot with half this much cred, gut circumference, and sophistication, Oklahoma City.

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