Friday, June 20, 2008

What would you Light on Fire?

This is Hillary. Isn't she adorable? (don't be fooled...). She graciously offered to serve as the featured PBR Tour attendee and post on the following topic:

If you were offered free Pabst for the rest of your life...

What are the Top-3 Possessions (Belonging to your Roommates) That you would Light on Fire

There are quite a few goods belonging to my debonair and lithe roommates that I would not hesitate to hurl into a conflagration in the name of PBR...the first being Berger’s Aerobercise VHS collection, along with the sweatbands, spandex leggings and leotards that accompany the 6am-daily routine. As much as I adore watching any hot man sweat it out to the 80’s...I must protest that being woken up by earth shaking jumping jacks to “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” is losing its comedic appeal.

Next, out of my pure “big sis’ looking out for her lil’ bro” sentiment, I would have to douse in jet fuel and then take a match to Riccardi’s Hannah Montana bedding, posters and bean bag chair. The man is a P.I.M.P. Let me just state that for the record. However, I have a hunch that outfitting him with some new bedroom digs just might lead to a magnanimous action-influx in the boom boom room. (Being the saint I am, I will allow him to keep her CDs and collecting cards).

Lastly, and with a twinge of regret, I would aim my flame thrower at their most recent “grand scheme”: The Bergdorf Astoria Ball Pit. I admit, it was fun the first few days...but turning the living room into a McDonald’s style playpen has lost its appeal and has also lost all of the tv remotes, 2 of my cell phones, my ipod, house keys and on Saturday Berger’s virginity as well- throwing the nearly non existent sanitation factor of the ball pit out the window.

And by the by, I will not hesitate to perform any of these arsonary feats if really given this PBR for LIFE deal. Don’t make any promises you can’t keep or I just may set you on fire too.

It bares mentioning that these are the two imbeciles in reference here. Well done Hillary.

Hope to see you all tomorrow!

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