Monday, June 23, 2008

Brian Scalabrine's Championship Press Conference

Kevin Garnett's loud, loud noises sort of swept this under the rug for the past week.



Suffice to say Scalz makes KG (and his Anything To Be Or Not To Be Possible) look like Churchill.


The creme de le creme of this astonishing display...

We do our defensive philosophy

nothing...nothing?

This is gonna be a series, how could that be?

He totally dominates the point guard position, when he's a small forward, as well as Rajon (wait, Pierce dominates Rajon how?)

How?

Of course, it doesn't get really good until the end.

Some foreign soccer reporter reminds Scalabrine that he didn't even play one little second in the Finals...


In five years, you guys are gonna forget (fair point)

In 10 years, I'll still be a champion (reasonable, in a cliche sort of way)

In 20 years, I'll probably tell my kids I started! (Did Scalz just invoke the idea him procreating?)

And in 30 years, I'll probably tell them I got the MVP!

(Confirming that the intellectual ceiling in the Scalabrine gene pool is as low as you thought it might be)

What. A. Retort.

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