TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 4, 2008

AMNY gets a hat tip for putting Bristol Palin's yokel babydaddy on the cover this morning the day after the big coming out speech.

Levi Johnston's Demon Hockey Seed Complicates Matters For GOP (DEADSPIN)
RATM at the RNC (NYHoosier)
Charles Barkley Rap, Nike Commercial (NESW Sports)
New Contest - ‘Create-a-Nick for Monta’ and Win Better Basketball DVD! (The Hoops Doctor)
Unassuming, Bald, Crafty 26-year-old Kid From Ohio Destroys LeBron in H-O-R-S-E (*VIDEO) (The Big Lead)

Go watch that Rage video, please.

Toss the Burner: July 16, 2008

Trying to get through the day with just one caffeinated drink...Can he do it?!

I'll take all bets, you doubters!

• The Internets are Alive: Camby Traded to the Clippers (Balls Don’t Lie)
• Charles Barkley will not win the British Open (Cuzoogle)
• Yogi Berra Is Not Impressed By Sarah Jessica Parker (Awful Announcing)
• Papelbon Says His Pregnant Wife Had Her 'Life Threatened' at Red Carpet Parade (Fanhouse)
• When You Can’t Gamble for Real… (Bugs & Cranks)
• Dr. Z Remembers (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

That one drink was a large iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts, which I have a crippling addiction for. They charge you the $3.25 for that here in New York (highway robbery). Yet, I can't say no.

Barkley Stays Debt Free...

He could always make a gentlemen’s bet with Lou Holtz for who will come in dead last, right?




On a conference call this week for the American Century Golf Championship, Jason Kidd said that Barkley is staying on the wagon:

“I was at a recent event with Charles in Palm Springs and we were at a casino. While he could have been tempted by the surroundings, he did not participate. I think once he makes up his mind not to do something, he sticks with it and will be alright.”

Barkley is a 500-1 underdog to win the Celebrity-Am Tournament that takes place in Lake Tahoe the first week in July. Lou Holtz, Brandy Chastain, and Kevin Nealon are the next biggest underdogs at 300-1.

On Barkley’s golf, Kidd said:

“Everyone knows he’s the worst golfer. But he’s also one of the funniest and most popular. But he is the worst golfer I’ve ever seen.”

Toss the Burner: May 15, 2007

Up until about 1 p.m. I was having a complete bogey of a day...because I decided to go to the DMV this morning...because I'm a schmuck.

Then, I received an early birthday package from my good pal Hillary at Fitness Magazine, which included:


After pummeling Stallion for a while, I was good. Before that though, I was livid. The DMV wouldn't let me exchange my Connecticut license for a New York one because I didn't have with me proof of birth. Because w/o a birth certificate or passport in hand, you're presumed to be a hologram in the eyes of these dingos who work there. Proof of birth? OK, fine. Pinch me, rock me in the face if you want...in fact, why don't you call my mom and let her tell you what a bastard I was at age 15, I'm real dammit!

So now I've got the old man spending eight bucks to overnight me a birth certificate. Hard earned money he could spend on that Corona light he seems to enjoy so much...oh, and I get to go back to the DMV tomorrow...which is my actual birthday!

With this current sad state of affairs I'm dealing with over here, I decided to post links to what I perceived as the worst stuff going on around the sports blogosphere today:

• A-Rod Will Help Manny Celebrate 500 Homers: Ramirez, Rodriguez scripted irony is really not a good look for you

• Bill Simmons Creates a Blogger blog to really stick it to ESPN: Sort of like when Dirk Diggler went from doing high-endish porn to giving $10 olde fashioneds in the truck, no? (via deadspin)
  

• Tonya Harding Sells Bizarre Tale of Rape, Kidnapping...: I missed this cracker jack's interview about her book on The Today Show this morning because it's the DMV, they say you gotta be there early! guh!

• Syrian Blogger Sentenced to Three Years in Jail: bloggers being wrongfully imprisoned, I need this like I need rabies from a subway rat (via The Big Lead)

• Sir Charles is being sued for $400,000 in gambling debts: Well, I guess my day could be worse.
  

What is this failure saying?

My hatred for Tony Parker, is well documented.

Thanks to Odenized for posting this clip from last night's TNT broadcast of the Spurs & Suns.

Chew - Meigh - Monk?

What?

I love how Inspector Chuck immediately got on Cybelle the French Camera Femme's case

(Why would he miss her, if he's gonna see her later? You tryin' to pull somethin' over on Sherlock Chuck, miss?)

...and then he decided to call Kenny and Ernie dumbasses. Because Sir Charles is all about high comedy.

Then, he calls the Cybelle crazy in Spanish. Ernie furrows his papers, wishes he could get the last few minutes of his life back.

San Antone went up 2-0 on Phoenix. My prediction for the rest of the series : much more Barkley nonsense.