THIS SITE HAS MOVED! [GETOUTTAHERE!!]

Over the past year, for many of you steady-burn.blogspot.com has been a bastion of hope in a cruel, cruel, brutally unfeeling World. (... my definition of many might be jaded, and unrealistic)

But, like those who have gone before me, I'm moving on. My new address is the ultra-slick STEADYBURN.NET
Hats off to the crack web development team of Jeff (Buzz My Blog, Buzz Pirates) and Bryan (GrandmasterB) on the new site design. Those guys did a bang-up job. And special thanks to Mike Cuz (Cuzoogle) for making the connect.

As has been the trend in this fledgling economy, I sold this blogger domain at a significantly reduced rate, to this kid...


When young Bruce "ballbuster" Mackallaster (pictured above) reaches the age of majority, expect updates here from him...

NOW, Go check out my first update to the new, improved Steady Burn on, what else, but some of Roller Derby's finest!

MH

A New [T-Shirt?] World Record!

I bet you hadn't realized that t-shirt wearing had become the World's most contended Guinness World Record?

The Swedes have taken back the title, and here's the video to prove it...



I'm thinking about doing a weekly update on Guinness World Records being broken. Just in the last week, L. Ron Hubbard was awarded two (World's Most Published Author!, World's Most Translated Author) and the band Weezer secured five with a music video! (Largest Game of Dodgeball, Most People in a Custard Pie Fight, Most People Riding on a Skateboard, Largest Air Guitar Ensemble, and Longest Guitar Hero World Tour Marathon.)

Here's a YouTube retrospective of the t-shirt record being broken (thanks to commenter Thomas for the tip!)

End Hits: MGMT "The Youth"

From the band that incited bikini-clad slip n' slide at McCarren Park Pool this Summer...

Here's MGMT's new video for "The Youth"...



That was directed by Eric, of Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! fame (Adult Swim)

Here's a sweet wedding band that played some nuptials I was at last weekend.


They annihilated Otis Redding's Try a Little Tenderness, obviously.

Golf and Sex: Bursting at the Seams

I take fashion pretty seriously...especially, when the clothing involved asks that we suspend all notions of practicality. And double especially, when it's some form of cuckoo [golfing!] lingerie.


Looking to create the online athletic couture unveiling of the season, this was sent my way by UK designer boutique Mio Destino.

The golfing bra is, quote, "the answer for all golf lovers who feel they neglect their lady."

"So the next time your partner asks if you ‘fancy a tee?’ she won’t be putting the kettle on, oh no! She will be opening her lingerie drawer and whipping out the fun new set from Mio Destino"

The golfing bra is nearing the final stages of development (I'm thinking the dangling golf balls on tassels might get left out of the on-the-course version), and the set is available for £300.

Link:

Mio Destino Golfing Lingerie

The Mooks of Kickball, Part Six

Welcome to my running series on kickball antics that will conclude whenever I stop getting fed gold. (Man, I knew part six would be the best...)

photo credit

Gawker gets the nod for this (yeah, right, cause they need my support) about a brawl that broke out on Sunday during the Brooklyn Kickball League's final night of playoffs - Brooklyn Kickball Brawl: "Brother Fighting Against Brother"

This is the league we played in this year (knocked out in the first round of World Cup-style playoffs, unceremoniously). And I was there for this fiasco!

Ok, I was in the bar. But rumor was a full beer was heaved at someone - which is surprising with this crowd, because that's really more of a meathead move.

Disappointing way for the season to end. This is the same kickball league that made Jimmy Traina's SI.com Hot Clicks for hosting an International Tournament! (their fourth annual, in fact). Cooler heads did end up prevailing and according to BrooklynKickball.com the finals are rescheduled for next week.

But seriously, what sort of retaliation wouldn't be justified for having a full beer hurled at you?Flamethrower?

End Hits...

Zo & the Old General


On-court rivals Alonzo Mourning and Patrick Ewing will team up for Obama Rally in Broward County in the all-important state of Florida tomorrow (SunSentinel.com)



Natalie Gulbis Essay Contest


The finalist have been selected in the Natalie Gulbis "Who's Behind Your Success" Essay Contest (sponsored by RSM McGladrey). Lot of worthy candidates for the prize of spending a day in Vegas with Natalie. (WorldGolf.com)



Low Brow Discussion Will Not Be Allowed at Sports Talk Radio Station

FM-Station WMVN (101.1) in St. Louis will soon be converting from dance-music to sports, and station chief John Kijowski says, "We will be absolutely a 100 percent sports-talk station,'' he said. "Talk about bimbos, hookers on our air? No way. There's no need to dumb it down. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you have to talk about that stuff. We will take a local, regional and national approach to mature sports talk.'' (STLToday.com)



Parent Banned From Youth Football Over Bad Play

Finally, a unique spin on an old fable. A parent in Amherst, OH barked at the coach of his son's 9-and-10 year old football team, and demanded he call a specific play. (A sweep, resulting in loss yardarge. Police then arrested parent Eric Frambach, whose been charged with disorderly conduct and is banned from practices and games moving forward. (SeattleTimes.com)

Race-Walking Marred By Scandal!

Blood doping is assaulting our sports landscape as brutally as any other rule-bending plague out there.

The latest sport to fall victim - race walking, on the World Class scale of...

MOSCOW -- Five Russian race walkers, including world record-holder Sergei Morozov, have been suspended for two years for doping. Morozov, Viktor Burayev, Vladimir Kanaikin, Igor Yerokhin and Alexei Voevodin were sanctioned by the national federation for testing positive for the endurance-enhancing hormone EPO, the All Sport news agency said Tuesday. (AP)

Enhancement drug scandals in race walking. Is cheating officially everywhere?

Link:

5 Russian race walkers banned for doping (MiamiHerald.com)

U.S. Wins Ryder Cup, Again!

Little did we know that United States' victory last week in the Ryder Cup would not only mark the U.S.'s first victory in competition since 1999, but also a two-for-two in International team golf events in the past month.

I'm not sure what's more impressive, ending that near-decade long drought, or this...

On Aug. 22, Team USA capped off an impressive 14 1/2 to 9 1/2 victory over an International squad, in the annual College Park Cup, which is basically the Ryder Cup for amputee golfers.


The College Park Cup, first held in 1998, was founded by College Park Industries, a company that specializes in the manufacturing prosthetic limbs for athlete amputees. CPI also hosts the Extremity Games, an extreme sports competition for those who've lost limbs that was inaugurated last year.

Check out this amazing clip of a man demonstrating amputee golf...



Links:

Amputee golfers do well at international tourney (St. Petersburg Times)
NAGAgolf.org

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 22, 2008

Travis Barker and DJ AM are expected to make a full recovery after sustaining second and third degree burns when their plane exploded during take-off over the weekend. My thoughts and prayers are with their family and friends. (via Pop Candy)

David Eggers Interviews Chris Elliot (The Sound of Young America)
Who do you want on your couch today? Obama or McCain? (The Shutdown Corner)
10 wild card players in the NBA this season (Cuzoogle)
Joey Porter, Anthony Smith: Tale of the Tape (NE Patriots Draft)
Jim Zorn To Steve Largent, Top Pass Combo, Video (NESW Sports)

The Cheers, and The Jeers...

Just because the track is no longer slanted, does not mean the semantics of competition can't be. For example, instead of conventional cheerleaders hell on wheels has....jeerleaders!



OR, even better, fearleaders!


These diabolical pep mavens are sort of a cross between the Knicks City Dancers (if they were all tatted up) and the creatures that comprise the Raiders fan base.

No better way to get acquainted with them than watching a dance off! Here are LA Derby Dolls Fearleaders facing off against the Gotham City Jeerleaders at last year's RollerCon...

The Iron Ref

Your boy young MH will be competing in this week's IRON REF competition over at Hugging Harold Reynold's.

Go check out The Chief's intro to this week's showdown, and see my bio - forgot to mention the detail that I've had exactly zero haircuts in '08. The secret ingredient is divine intervention and the posts go live on Wednesday! The only hint I'll give out: Weezy, baby!

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 9, 2008

If you haven't started watching Lucy, Daughter of the Devil on Adult Swim yet, get to it....

Top 5 Best Fake Sports Movies (Deuce of Davenport)
Former UFC Champ Evan Tanner Dead at 37 After Going Missing in Desert (Fanhouse)
Mars Blackmon’s One Wish, Michael Jordan, Nike, Commercial (NESW Sports)
Note to Steven Jackson: Training Camp helps prepare you for hits like this (Sports Fiends)

Erie whiffleballers play 24-hour game...

I've been slacking on here, but this aught to redeem myself at least a little...

ALBION -- No one struck out when it came to playing a marathon whiffle-ball game over the weekend for charity and a scholarship fund...They recorded the marathon on tape. It began at 7 p.m. Friday and ended at about 7 p.m. Saturday. (Whiffle-ball game for charity lasts 24 hours, sets record - Erie Times-News)

I think these stats speak for themselves...

• Final Score: 935 - 514, the game ended in the top of the 149th inning (there was no need for the home team to bat in the bottom half...with a 421 run lead)

• According to one of the player's wives, some players hit 150 to 200 home runs (with a 64-foot fence, she's probably not exaggerating that bad)

The players raised $1500 for charity, and (surprise, surprise) they could find themselves in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Roller Derby Face-Off: Bacon versus Salt

Quality 1-on-1 roller derby match-up between two diet staples…



Salt really abandons the tenet of good sportsmanship with that croquet mallet.

It gets a little contentious at center track, before salt goes out of his gourd and skates straight into the wall.

Supports the assertion that bacon is awesome.


I would even eat it in ice cream.

Frank Evans: Matador, Pensioner

His name is Frank "El Ingles" Evans. He's 66 years-old, and the only living English bullfighter.

He's slain over 300 bulls in his 40+ year career. This past weekend, he got back in the ring for the first time in three years since having a knee replacement and quadruple bypass heart surgery.

His next stop could be a matador tour of South America - so that he can say he's fought in every country in the world that will allow you to kill a bull inside a ring. (Fighting fit at 66: Britain's heart bypass matador back with a flourish)

This guy makes me feel bad about myself, and ashamed to know half the people I know.

Choke Trailer & Radiohead...

flickr

Another unsubstantiated rumor crashes and burns...Turns out Radiohead did not contribute the entire score to Choke, the film based on the Chuck Palahniuk novel that opens in theaters Sept. 26.

All is not lost, however. Radiohead is indeed releasing a brand new tune for what looks to be a strong soundtrack:

Choke Soundtrack tracklist (being released Sept. 23 exclusively for digital download):

1. Ben Kweller - "The Rules"
2. The Natural History - "Don't You Ever" (rare)
3. Fiery Furnaces - "Navy Nurse"
4. Radiohead - "Reckoner"
5. Alap Momin - "Sin Terror"
6. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "Satan Said Dance"
7. Buzzcocks - "Orgasm Addict" (rare)
8. Death Cab for Cutie - "No Sunlight"
9. Blitzen Trapper - "Wicked" (unreleased)
10. Ms. Tyree Sugar Jones - "If You Feel It"
11. My Morning Jacket - "Touch Me I'm Going To Scream Pt 1"
12. Shout Out Louds - "Bicycle" (rare)
13. Twilight Singers - "There's Been An Accident"
14. Nicole Atkins - "Crystal Ship"

Here you go with the trailer too...



Link:

Radiohead, Buzzcocks, My Morning Jacket Featured on 'Choke' Soundtrack (Spin.com)

Happy Anniversary Roller Derby!

Old School Derby Association informs us that yesterday marked the 73rd anniversary of the first Roller Derby, held in Chicago in 1935.


Hell on wheels was graciously brought forth by a gentleman named Leo Seltzer, who after reading a magazine article that said 93% of Americans had, at one point in their life, roller skated decided to launch the sport.

Seltzer's first iteration of Roller Derby had folks skating around an oval track for as many as 11-hours, in marathon races meant to simulate the 3000-mile distance between Los Angeles and New York.


The distance was quickly scaled back and the team concept was also adapted. The ruthlessness has always been encouraged, with five minute sprint races - which often saw elbows being thrown and collisions taking place - being inserted during the early derbies for extra prize money.

Kicking off the medals with a blah-dow!

Enough of the pageantry and hullaballoo, time to start banging out medals...literally.

The first gold medal will be give out on Saturday...in an event with guns! (umm, awesome?) The home country could jump out to the early lead in the medal count, as China's Du Li is expected to take gold in this event - the Women's 10-Meter Gat-off. (fine, it's actually called the 10 m. Air Rifle)


Expectations for this snipette couldn't be higher, as China dominated the 2004 shooting events - winning four golds, nine medals in total. The pressure is so intense that her coach hired Du - who took gold at Athens - a psychologist leading up to the competition.


The Loot officially starts being handed out Saturday Morning when IOC President Jacque Rogge will present the medals himself to the winners of Women's Air Rifle.

Links:

Shooting Set To Kick Off Olympic Programme (The Telegraph)

The Mooks of Kickball, Part Four: TRIAL OF THE CENTURY!

Just when I thought it had reached its peak…

According to Washington City Paper, “The Greatest Kickball Lawsuit of All Time” has come to end.

"In 2006, the World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA) sued upstart DC Kickball, claiming that founder and former WAKA officer Carter Rabasa had stolen the association's proprietary rules and then defamed WAKA by calling it "the Microsoft of kickball." Offended and pouting, WAKA demanded $356,000 in damages. Had the legal recourse existed for it, they likely would have forced Rabasa to play bocce for the rest of his life." (DCist)

A motion filed in April by both sides to dismiss the case was just passed. (i.e. everyone woke up)


There is absurdity abound here, clearly.

• The WAKA, LLC. A limited liability company (for kickball!). Sounds official, I know. You probably pay your rent to an LLC. Apparently, there is clout to be had in the kickball market, but the "Microsoft of Kickball?" The conglomerate empire...of kickball! Where am I? Even the Initech of kickball shouldn’t exist!

• $356,000 in damages! That's like somebody’s pension, if they have decent mob ties. A lawyer – in the unaccredited and strip mall sense of the profession - screed that on some documentation at one point while this suit was going on. Apparently, they were a little off, and calling somebody the Microsoft of is not actually defamation.

Forget the legal precedent set here, Let’s see if we can get a few of the same cuckoo puff law-types back involved, and reopen these proceedings with Frank Zappa suing for copyright infringement – citing the tampering of his song Waka Zawaka.


For the record, copyright infringement, tampering - I don’t know if any of this is proper terminology. If this wasn’t such fantasy camp stuff, I’d be more concerned.

John Daly Tees Off a Beer Can

The proprietor of Murder Rock Golf Course is back at it again... (via i-am-so-bored)



What they don't want you to know, is that he teen wolfed a beer on the next hole.



LINKS:

Even with his game in decline, Daly still a draw (AP)