Manny Ramirez' Gold Glove lobbying continues...

David Ortiz was placed on the 15-day DL today. When asked about filling in for Ortiz at DH, the genius of shill himself, Manny Ramirez told the Boston Herald:

"I love DH...I'm pretty sure they're not going to miss my Gold Glove out there [in left]. We're fine. We're going to be fine." (via ESPN.com)

Even MannyRamirez.com only argues that he may not be a gold glove outfielder.

Toss the Burner: April 18, 2008

It's like 80 degrees outside, let's get out there and see some skirts!

Nope, gotta work. Guffaw.

I can't wait to run for Pope of this dump on the four-day work week platform.

You ask me to debate foreign policy, and I'll ask you to use foreign policy in a sentence. Universal health care, sounds tough. Nope, all we need is the four day work week...or at least maybe siestas.

President Curly, sounds pretty dastardly doesn't it?

.......

So, Midge Tejada is actually a mischievous two years older than he's been claiming. The first sentence from the mlb.com report is priceless:

PHILADELPHIA -- Miguel Tejada just aged two years.

...and so is the spin by Astros general manager Ed Wade:

"In the course of media interviews, it was brought to our attention that the date we carry for Tejada, the year of birth, is incorrect," Wade said. "His green card, his driver's license, everything that he uses personally shows '74 as his date of birth. In the media guide, that type of information shows '76. We told Miguel we were going to go ahead and make the appropriate changes and all the information was put forward. But the fact of the matter is he's playing like he was 25."

So, this whole charade, it was merely a typo in the media guide? Or was it more of a typo in the media guide propagated by a decade long lie?

All this really means is that Tejada will stop striking fear into me every time he comes to the plate probably in 2014 instead of 2016.

Manny Ramirez Takes A Facetious Jab at Our Country's Oil Crisis

With two runners on and two out in the top of the tenth inning, Manny Ramirez stepped to the plate to face Oakland's Huston Street.

On the second pitch, Julio Lugo broke for third as Manny fouled off a Street fastball.

ESPN announcers were quick to point out that it is not necessarily a good idea to send the runner from second in that situation as it could distract the batter and break their concentration.

Red Sox fans nationwide were quick to guffaw at the suggestion that Manny's cranium functions at this high of a level.

Manny then proceeded to drive a ball to deep center field and stand unyielding at the plate watching - as he tends to do on every ball he hits that leaves the infield.


The shot caromed high off the center field wall, scoring runners Lugo and David Ortiz and putting the Red Sox ahead 6-4.

The Sox went on to win 6-5, and Manny was awarded the game's MVP and a Happy Gilmore movie replica check for one million yen!

...which is just under $10,000.

After receiving the check, Ramirez, couth bastard that he is, said in the postgame interview, "That's going to be some gas money...I love it.''

Happy MLB '08 Season!