TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 25, 2008

Natalie Portman broke up with her boyfriend Debra or whatever he's called, so that her an I can get back together.

Some say this doesn't qualify as getting back together, since technically we were never together. Others simply tell me: give up, it's never gonna happen. Haters. (via Pop Candy)

Olivia Wilde: Thank You For Being So Hot (MoonDog Sports)
VLADE DIVAC'S FACE IS A BIG PROBLEMA FOR THE LADIES (Epic Carnival)
Video: Kimbo Slice's Attempt To Kill David Blaine (Awful Announcing)
Gambling 2.0: Bet On Obama-McCain Debate (Busted Coverage)
McCain (not) on Letterman (The Sound of Young America)
Sunday Night baseball ratings for the Yankees finale weren’t great. (via The Big Lead)

Natalie Portman & Devendra Banhart spotted in Soho Eatery

Banhart, in a word...selfish

Here's what they have in common:

1.) they're 26.

And by comparison, here's what Natalie and I have in common:

1.) She's been an advocate for environmental causes since the age of twelve (There's approximately one lightbulb* working in my entire apartment; I'm going green)

2.) Despite being associated with summery, flowery musicians with frou frou names like Devendra she actual prefers Motorhead** (You bet your ass I prefer Motorhead, I'd follow Lemmy into the black)

3.) A working knowledge of the city of Paris...



4.) In a 2004 interview with Allure Magazine she said "Oh my God! I'm not black, but I know what it feels like!" (Senior year we had a framed photograph of the first African American pool superintendant - whose name escapes me at the moment - on our wall. My roommate made the swipe from a pool he worked at in Brooklyn. Anyway, I used to tell people he was my uncle and that I was half-black. The really curly hair and sharp dance moves helped sell the dream)

Stick that on the back of your compatability colt and ride off into the sunset, Josey Wells.

*The singular lightbulb is actually part of really budget chand-o-lere that has about a dozen bulb sockets. I've threatened my roommate on numerous occasions - with the mack-ten - for trying to replace the burned out bulbs.

**There's no link to her wikipedia page here, because I made it up. Motorhead is awesome though