Steady Burn

THIS SITE HAS MOVED! [GETOUTTAHERE!!]

2008-10-17T06:00:00.004-04:00

Over the past year, for many of you steady-burn.blogspot.com has been a bastion of hope in a cruel, cruel, brutally unfeeling World. (... my definition of many might be jaded, and unrealistic)

But, like those who have gone before me, I'm moving on. My new address is the ultra-slick STEADYBURN.NET
Hats off to the crack web development team of Jeff (Buzz My Blog, Buzz Pirates) and Bryan (GrandmasterB) on the new site design. Those guys did a bang-up job. And special thanks to Mike Cuz (Cuzoogle) for making the connect.

As has been the trend in this fledgling economy, I sold this blogger domain at a significantly reduced rate, to this kid...

When young Bruce "ballbuster" Mackallaster (pictured above) reaches the age of majority, expect updates here from him...

NOW, Go check out my first update to the new, improved Steady Burn on, what else, but some of Roller Derby's finest!

MH

Obama Campaign Hits Video Game Consoles!

2008-10-15T10:05:00.001-04:00

Barack Obama says, Yes We Can!...go for it on 4th and 22 from your own 8-yard line, with three minutes left in the fourth quarter up 56...

"The Obama camp has bought “billboard space” within nine video games, all from Electronic Arts: “Madden ’09,” “NBA Live ’08,” “Burnout Paradise,” “Nascar 09,” “Need For Speed Carbon,” “Need For Speed Pro Street,” “NFL on Tour,” “NHL ’09” and “Skate.”

Screenshot from NBA 08 (Sun-Times News Group)

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, these virtual ads need to be downloaded, but are slated to run right up until the election in 10 battleground states - Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa, Colorado, Florida, Montana, North Carolina, New Mexico, Nevada and Ohio.

Link:

Obama will be the first candidate to advertise in video games

A New [T-Shirt?] World Record!

2008-10-14T09:39:00.003-04:00

I bet you hadn't realized that t-shirt wearing had become the World's most contended Guinness World Record?

The Swedes have taken back the title, and here's the video to prove it...

I'm thinking about doing a weekly update on Guinness World Records being broken. Just in the last week, L. Ron Hubbard was awarded two (World's Most Published Author!, World's Most Translated Author) and the band Weezer secured five with a music video! (Largest Game of Dodgeball, Most People in a Custard Pie Fight, Most People Riding on a Skateboard, Largest Air Guitar Ensemble, and Longest Guitar Hero World Tour Marathon.)

Here's a YouTube retrospective of the t-shirt record being broken (thanks to commenter Thomas for the tip!)

Ironman World Champ Got Help Along the Way!

2008-10-13T13:00:00.006-04:00

There's certainly not a surplus of goodwill in pro sports these days. For instance, Buck and McCarver brought up retaliation about a dozen times during last night's broadcast of the Phillies - Dodgers game.

In stark contrast, it was a Good Samaritan act by a fellow competitor that helped Chrissie Wellington to her second consecutive Ironman Triathlon World Championship women's title...

"The 31-year-old triathlete from Britain had a lead of about 5 minutes when her tire went flat near the 90-mile mark of the 112-mile bicycle ride. Air canisters she carried didn't work, she said, but Rebekah Keat of Australia came to the rescue.

Keat stopped, gave Wellington another canister, and the defending champion was on her way again. It cost her about 10 minutes and the lead, which she quickly regained and held throughout the marathon run." (Associated Press)

Wellington said the help bestowed upon her "epitomizes everything great about the Ironman."

There's no record of where Keat stood in the pack when she stopped to help Wellington, but according to Ironman.com, she did finish in 15th place in the women's pro division, and 270 overall. So presumably several, if not many, other racers passed by Wellington while she had a flat, and gave her the so long, sucka! treatment.

Link:

Women's Ironman champ gives thanks (AP)
RebekahKeat.com

End Hits: MGMT "The Youth"

2008-10-10T14:22:00.004-04:00

From the band that incited bikini-clad slip n' slide at McCarren Park Pool this Summer...

Here's MGMT's new video for "The Youth"...

That was directed by Eric, of Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! fame (Adult Swim)

Here's a sweet wedding band that played some nuptials I was at last weekend.

They annihilated Otis Redding's Try a Little Tenderness, obviously.

BEST SPORTS PLATFORMS FOR THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

2008-10-10T06:00:00.001-04:00

After the rip-roaring success of the politically charged Great "Bailouts" in Sports History, I decided to go back to the well and poll the sports blogging intelligentsia on issues quasi-related to Decision '08. This week's topic:

BEST SPORTS PLATFORMS FOR THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

It may seem a little (or entirely) taboo right now, given the economic ground and pound, however, I'll point to a story in this week's New Yorker by Peter Boyer (The Appalachian Problem) on Obama's campaigning in Appalachia, in an attempt to siphon votes away from McCain and take the state of West Virginia . Boyer brings up former Democratic Governor Mark Warner, who fought an uphill battle to get into office, and repaid the voters of the region by getting Virginia Tech into the ACC. Since VT joined the conference, their men's basketball team earned its first NCAA Tournament berth, and the football team was able to expand Lane Stadium. All the while, creating heightened interest in V-Tech sports in and around the region - translating into additional revenue, not to mention jobs, in the state.

In the same light, I'm suggesting Obama vow to get Memphis out of Conference U.S.A, to appeal to the economically liberal, socially conservative voters of Tennessee. (And Alabama's UAB faithful.)

If he so chose, he could mix in some lackadaisical foreign policy while catering to the Memphis populus - who can see Germantown from their houses (nod to Scott from WaitingForNextYear.com for that one!)

Here are some other campaign promises the sports blogosphere would like to hear coming out of the political arena in the final month of the race. And Since Obama and McCain already downplayed anti-steroids legislation (thanks Phil, from CheatorBeat, for that), they could use something to get sports fans going...

"[The candidates] should focus their campaign on adopting the 'Francesca Football Plan' which involves replacing the final two NFL exhibition games with regular season games. This plan, which I first heard mentioned by WFAN Legend (in his own mind) Mike Francesca, would expand the NFL regular season to 18 total games and in doing so would push the SuperBowl back two weeks to the Sunday just prior to Presidents Day. This would create an official, govt. sanctioned three-day SuperBowl Holiday weekend and subsequently do away with the most 'called-out' workday of the year." (Chris "Shorty" Smith, BadChoiceMilk)

The incremental plan to increase the amount of football is as brilliant as Francesca is insufferable.

Have you seen the Mike Francesca Show? Who in their right mind would watch that one gurgle for a half-hour late Sunday night when you're faded from a full-day of football?

Jimmy Traina from SI.com has a simpler suggestion for how our chief commander could improve the NFL: "Whoever is elected president needs to make the Monday after the Super Bowl a national holiday"

The Super Bowl is already a well established, polished glutton fest. But this would set off a spending spree that would rival black friday. It would all be contained to beer and protein, but still. (plus I think I'd like to live in country where those things helped drive the economy). The real benefit, however, is the money saved by companies closing on a clear no-work work day.

Bares mentioning that I'm actively looking for a politician to run for office on the four-day work week platform. The Super Bowl holiday could seamlessly be included as buffer.

NBA blogger Trey Kerby (The Blowtorch) would like your candidates to abolish the shooting game at the All-Star Game, and mandate a one-on-one tournament.

The score of last year's All-Star game was 134-128 - 260 points, yet almost an unwatchable game. It's a combined point total that's only rival is that of the Dow Jones Industrial losses over the last week. What do they have in common? Both are pretty boring to follow, yet there is undeniably something wrong happening.

Forget NBA All-Star regulation though, what we need is NBA relegation. I'd like to see the president vow to protect against lame duck teams who mail in the end of the year so they have 25% chance of getting the #1 pick in the lottery. You tank, congratulations, welcome to the D-League. Have fun spending a year throttling post-pubescant 19-year olds (that run, and run, and run) in Sioux Falls for a year.

Here are some additional ideas to get people flocking to the polls:

Start a professional ice hockey league! Wait, ... (Doug Sheckler, Epic Carnival, on205th Magazine)

Here's a thought - make instant replay mandatory in every sport. Everything is reviewable, especially missed calls. (Moon Dog Sports)

"There needs to be a plus one system playoff for D1 college football. The top 4 play and the winners play in a final game. This will keep the pundits happy that still want to keep the smaller bowls, and it will still allow for a lot of pork barrel spending at the AT&T Cotton Bowl, AutoZone, Liberty Bowl, Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, Brut Sun Bowl, Capital One Bowl,Champs Sports Bowl..." (Ethan Jaynes, NESW Sports)

...etc., etc., etc., etc. (great ref. to pork barrel spending!)

"Being that Ohio is a battleground state, Obama should campaign to get better coaching for the bengals and browns. I'd say the same about michigan...but mccain's already conceded it and the lions are a lost cause anyway." (Dan, InGameNow)

Swing states are going to make or break this election, and both candidates have already vowed to examine and take down programs that aren't working (I think they were mainly talking about government bureaucracy, however.)

Do your civic duty, and vote for the platform that will get our presidential candidates your vote on November 4:

Online Surveys & Market Research

The Mooks of Kickball, Part Seven

2008-10-09T12:16:00.007-04:00

Part Seven in an on-going series on kickball that I feel is determined to continue deep into the cold weather months...

After all, the National Power Poll was just issued this week! Here are the top-16 as compiled by Kickball365.com.

1.) Frosty Balls (VA Recess)
2.) Meatballs (FL West Palm/FL Beach)
3.) Hey Whoa (NY Gotham)
4.) Kick Asphalts (VA Dominion)
5.) Screw the Team (FL Riptide)
6.) Young Guns (FL West Palm/FL Beach)
7.) Menace 2 Sobriety (DC Rock Creek, DC Memorial)
8.) Off in Public (DC Liberty, DC Memorial)
9.) Blue Balls (VA Recess, VA Shore)
10.) Dumpster Fire (NY Freedom)
11.) We Kick Your Balls (AZ Valley)
12.) Friends With Benefits (VA Dominion)
13.) Gonzo (VA Alexandria, VA Arlington)
14.) Sofa King Good (CA Hollywood)
15.) Best Coast Ballers (CA Gold Rush)
16.) Gym Class All Stars (DC Monument)

Folks, you can rank anything in sports - as long as you power rank it. Kickball is no exception.

The rationale is broken down at Kickball365 as well. I'm assuming a certain subjective approach regardless. It's hard to factor in the competitive nuances of each respective league. For instance, we learned months back that there is a vigilante terrorist group trying to bring the DC league down (see The Mooks of Kickball, part 3). Who knows how this affected some teams' R.P.I.?

Here's a photo of the cleverly named, #1-ranked Frosty Balls celebrating victory at the Founders Cup in Las Vegas...

photo credit

I'm ranked pretty high in most Cure songs played on jukeboxes in the Metro-NY area over the last six months. You can pretty much rank everything in life.

Four-year-old Go-Kart Phenom Inks £15,000 Sponsorship Deal

2008-10-08T16:32:00.003-04:00

This kid is what those in the Hip-Hop industry like to call young money. And that photo begs the question: Is their a form of unorthodoxed racing that Red Bull doesn't sponsor?

"Leonardo Panayiotou, a four-year-old go-karter at the same track Lewis Hamilton first made his mark, has received £15,000 in sponsorship to pursue his motor racing dream. Despite his tender age, Leonardo races a 60cc kart as speeds of up to 50mph. A consortium of sponsors spotted the youngster racing at Rye House Kart Raceway, in Hertforshire, and came forward with the money." (Four-year-old racer picks up £15,000 sponsorship deal)

I want to go fast! His parents better hope he doesn't change his life goal (to be, like, a fire fighter, or spiderman) between now and four years, when he'll legally be allowed to race competitively.

Link:

Gridcrasher.com

Rollergirl Busts to be Auctioned Off at Derby Tournament

2008-10-08T13:04:00.005-04:00

A major event of the WFTDA season takes place this weekend, with 12 of the top derby squads on the East Coast meeting in Wisconsin for the annual Derby in Dairyland. A shot at the Nationals in November at stake.

True to form, this tournament plans to offer more than just fine Hell on Wheels competition, with live music, dancing, and coerced trips to roughhouse saloons i'm sure being offered. So, if you're in the Madison area - go gallivant. (I would!)

Host and notoriously charitable team, the Mad Rollin' Dolls, will be auctioning off plastered busts of several of the team members' chests during the weekend as well. The proceeds go to benefit breast cancer awareness. Here's the model of the Mad Rollins' Chop Suzzy.

More info on Derby in Dairyland can be had at www.derbyindairyland.com. Check out this video of the Mad Rollin' Dolls giving a tour of the city of Madison below...

Links:

Derby in Dairyland rolls art and music into flat track festival (The Daily Page)
Photos - Derby Team Plasters Cancer

TOSS THE BURNER: Oct. 8, 2008

2008-10-08T09:40:00.002-04:00

The Big Lead posted a link to this photo this morning in The Round-Up... god bless him.

The Browns-Palin Paradox (Waiting For Next Year)
No Follow Backlinks on Link Lists? Don't be a D*ck (The Sports Dollar)
Kung Pu: Learn Judo With Vladimir (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
10 Best Product Placements in Movies (via Pop Candy)
The 2008 Red Sox as Bond Villains (Bugs & Cranks)

Golf and Sex: Bursting at the Seams

2008-10-07T09:18:00.005-04:00

I take fashion pretty seriously...especially, when the clothing involved asks that we suspend all notions of practicality. And double especially, when it's some form of cuckoo [golfing!] lingerie.

Looking to create the online athletic couture unveiling of the season, this was sent my way by UK designer boutique Mio Destino.

The golfing bra is, quote, "the answer for all golf lovers who feel they neglect their lady."

"So the next time your partner asks if you ‘fancy a tee?’ she won’t be putting the kettle on, oh no! She will be opening her lingerie drawer and whipping out the fun new set from Mio Destino"

The golfing bra is nearing the final stages of development (I'm thinking the dangling golf balls on tassels might get left out of the on-the-course version), and the set is available for £300.

Link:

Mio Destino Golfing Lingerie

Don't. Vote.

2008-10-06T13:27:00.002-04:00

The folks behind the "Don't Vote" video are asking folks to share it with five other people. (video is actually called, simply, 5 Friends). And bloggers are taking the extra step by posting it and linking to five other blogs.

Check it out, The Sports Dollar gets the nod for the first post (that I saw, at least).

And Sarah, excellent point.

NESW Sports
Moondog Sports
Hugging Harold Reynolds
Epic Carnival
NYHoosier.com

TOSS THE BURNER: Oct. 6, 2008

2008-10-06T09:25:00.003-04:00

A taped broadcast of the the 2008 USA Rock Paper Scissors Championship airs tonight on Fox Sports Net (check your local listings). Broadcasting renaissance man Master Roshambollah to provide commentary. (via Deuce of Davenport.)

Last October, Henry Paulson said a bailout wouldn't be necessary (via The Big Lead)
Top 50 Sports Blogs (The Sports Dollar)
Coachella Moves 2009 Dates Up Two Weeks (via Pop Candy)
So, this is Seth Petruzelli? (Epic Carnival)

TOSS THE BURNER: Oct. 2, 2008

2008-10-02T09:30:00.002-04:00

I'm teetering on the verge of a morbid fascination of tonight's impending trainwreck. Go here to get your Palin Bingo sheets for tonight's debate!

The Knicks City Dancers did a photo shoot (EPIC CARNIVAL)
September Traffic Rankings For Sports Blogs (MOONDOG SPORTS)
HBO eyes series on U.S. exodus (SOUP)
'The Office': Jim's Best Pranks! (via Pop Candy)
NFL Punchlines: Is T.O. Ruining His Relationship With Another Quarterback? (The Sports Point)

Great "Bailouts" in Sports History

2008-10-01T09:51:00.025-04:00

You don’t have to be getting hit over the head with news alerts to realize that tomorrow the House will reconvene to try to reach a solution, for better or worse, concerning the financial bailout proposal. Thus, I thought it appropriate to recall some of the great bailouts in sports history.

My personal contribution is Drew Bledsoe coming off the bench, after losing his starting job to a then injured Tom Brady, and leading the Patriots to victory in the 2001 AFC Championship Game, only to be relegated back to the bench for the Super Bowl.

I tasked some of the sports blogosphere to come up with other great bailouts in sports history. Here are the top-3, and many other below...

1.) The Tackle

Courtesy of Melfi, NYHoosier.com, a Colts fan who had the pleasure of experiencing this game on ESPN Gamecast. Here's a rather indulgent video of the play. The anguish of a Colts fan having to follow that game on ESPN.com, with the 18-minute delay time and the kind-of-moving football dot, warms my heart. It’s the little things that get us through these tough economic times.

....

2.) The 2002 NBA Western Conference Finals

James Christensen, from NEPatriotsDraft.com, was the first to suggest this, but his sentiments were wildly echoed by others for this one…

Isaac, from World of Isaac, gets the nod for sending in the clip of the no-call that only the most entitled of Wall Streets' out-of-work millionaire CEOs could defend…

....

3.) Mario Lemieux Saves the Penguins

My buddy Derek, who’s the biggest hockey fan I know, gets a shout out for this one…

The Pittsburgh Penguins were bankrupt, and on the verge of leaving the city, when the franchise’s most storied player bought the team. In a deal that had to be approved by the Federal Government, Lemieux assumed control of the team in 1996, and vowed to keep the Penguins in Pittsburgh. Also, as part of the deal, he agreed to pay back the close to $100 million owed to creditors.

Apparently, most of that debt has been paid back. And with the addition of Sydney Crosby (who lived in Lemiuex’s house when he first joined the team), the Penguins are now selling out games left and right, and moving towards the black.

This is a bailout backers of the Bush’s plan would like you to remember, simply, because it’s worked. However, as things shake out in the financial world over the next couple days, I ask that you also keep Drew Bledsoe in mind taxpayers – he was asked to step up when Brady went down, and then discarded with near immediacy.

....

The sports blogosphere’s most distinguished statesmen stepped up with some other great examples, so here are all the honorable mentions…

A big bailout? How about MLB relocating the Montreal Expos to Washington, D.C. and christening them the Nationals? Jeffery Loria sold the Expos to MLB for $120 million, and a few years later, MLB sold the team to the Lerner family for over $500 million. Add to that, Washington, D.C. threw in a $611 million stadium with very little ownership equity. (Maury Brown, President of Business of Sports Networks, BizofBaseball.com)

The NBA stopping the Cavaliers from themselves in the early 1980s, preventing them from continuing to trade away consecutive first round picks for past-prime talent. (Kelly Dwyer, Balls Don’t Lie)

How 'bout Jeff Hostetler coming in for an injured Phil Simms (foot), winning the last 2 games of the season and the Super Bowl XXV (Chimpanzee Rage, Deuce of Davenport)

George Steinbrenner bails out the Red Sox by signing A-rod (Jodie Boduch, GossipOnSports.com)

Gretzky saving hockey any place West of Detroit (Ethan Jaynes, NESWsports.com)

Kevin McHale bailing out his buddy Danny Ainge by trading KG to the Celts (The Sports Culture)

Ray Lewis NOT Convicted of Murder (Trey Kirby, TheBlowtorch.net)

Ed Hochuli coming to the rescue of the Denver Broncos in Week 2 this season. (Ryan Phillips, Rumors & Rants)

Throw your personal favorite sports bailouts in the comments below!

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 30, 2008

2008-09-30T09:46:00.003-04:00

Greatest. Headline. Yet. From BrooklynPaper.com (and a huge nod to NYhoosier.com for this too)

Hookers to get BJ’s in a mall

Gina Carano Tells Craig Ferguson MMA Is 'Kind of Like Sex' (FANHOUSE)
Michael Strahan Is Now The New Face Of Vaseline For Men (Awful Announcing)
Did your Congressman vote for or against the bailout? (via The Big Lead)
Story From NPR on Robert Downey, the Senior (via Pop Candy)

The Mooks of Kickball, Part Six

2008-09-30T06:00:00.002-04:00

Welcome to my running series on kickball antics that will conclude whenever I stop getting fed gold. (Man, I knew part six would be the best...)

photo credit

Gawker gets the nod for this (yeah, right, cause they need my support) about a brawl that broke out on Sunday during the Brooklyn Kickball League's final night of playoffs - Brooklyn Kickball Brawl: "Brother Fighting Against Brother"

This is the league we played in this year (knocked out in the first round of World Cup-style playoffs, unceremoniously). And I was there for this fiasco!

Ok, I was in the bar. But rumor was a full beer was heaved at someone - which is surprising with this crowd, because that's really more of a meathead move.

Disappointing way for the season to end. This is the same kickball league that made Jimmy Traina's SI.com Hot Clicks for hosting an International Tournament! (their fourth annual, in fact). Cooler heads did end up prevailing and according to BrooklynKickball.com the finals are rescheduled for next week.

But seriously, what sort of retaliation wouldn't be justified for having a full beer hurled at you?Flamethrower?

Are Sled Dogs Our Most Superior Athletes?

2008-09-29T13:49:00.004-04:00

A 10-year study at Oregon State University has revealed that Iditarod-competing Huskies are ridiculously well-oiled machines...

"A roughly 55-pound sled dog can burn up to 12,000 kilocalories per day - the equivalent of 24 Big Macs. A human athlete, to sustain Iditarod-level performance for just one day, would have to eat, *and* efficiently process, the equivalent of 72 Big Macs." (DogBlog.com)

Though the stats are pretty staggering, knowing that the Iditarod is a 10-20 day race where the dogs mush for 1,100+ miles (temps, can be as low as -40 degrees fahrenheit), I wouldn't say that the revelations here blew my mind. What is most impressive, however, is that these dogs can break down anything:

"Sled dogs eat a commercial race diet, but it can be supplemented by anything from salmon to congealed lard, all of which they’re able to convert to fuel."

Hence, the relevance of the Big Mac analogy above. I can't even jog after eating a turkey burger, by the way.

Short of going back in time and studying beasts that did battle in the gladiatorial arena, I think we might have found nature's preeminent competitor here.

Link:

Iditarod Dog Athletic Supremacy Explained (Discovery.com)

End Hits...

2008-09-26T16:33:00.005-04:00

Zo & the Old General

On-court rivals Alonzo Mourning and Patrick Ewing will team up for Obama Rally in Broward County in the all-important state of Florida tomorrow (SunSentinel.com)

Natalie Gulbis Essay Contest

The finalist have been selected in the Natalie Gulbis "Who's Behind Your Success" Essay Contest (sponsored by RSM McGladrey). Lot of worthy candidates for the prize of spending a day in Vegas with Natalie. (WorldGolf.com)

Low Brow Discussion Will Not Be Allowed at Sports Talk Radio Station

FM-Station WMVN (101.1) in St. Louis will soon be converting from dance-music to sports, and station chief John Kijowski says, "We will be absolutely a 100 percent sports-talk station,'' he said. "Talk about bimbos, hookers on our air? No way. There's no need to dumb it down. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you have to talk about that stuff. We will take a local, regional and national approach to mature sports talk.'' (STLToday.com)

Parent Banned From Youth Football Over Bad Play

Finally, a unique spin on an old fable. A parent in Amherst, OH barked at the coach of his son's 9-and-10 year old football team, and demanded he call a specific play. (A sweep, resulting in loss yardarge. Police then arrested parent Eric Frambach, whose been charged with disorderly conduct and is banned from practices and games moving forward. (SeattleTimes.com)

Thong-Clad Maven Becomes New Chief of English Squash

2008-09-26T13:03:00.009-04:00

Wild story I pulled from The Telegrath...

After competing in next month's World Championships, storied women's squash player Vicky Botwright will retire from the game, and become the Head of Squash in Manchester - home of England's Squash Association (WISPA) and the National Squash Centre.

Botwright moves on from a career that is marked by some of the most incendiary PR tomfoolery Pro sports promotion has seen since the turn of the century...

At the 2001 British Open, a 16th-ranked Botwright entered the court wearing only a bikini top and thong for an early round match (see the photos below from SquashPics.com). She claimed the traditional squash attire (and I guess speedos, bike shorts, tank tops by extension) was too constrictive. On account of this being completely ridiculous, she was not allowed to compete until she got dressed.

WISPA quickly admitted this to be a lavish publicity stunt, the brainchild of director Andrew Shelley, who scripted the whole thing. Nevertheless, it set off a media frenzy, as Botwright was dubbed the Lancashire Hot Bot, at one point vaulting into the top-10 in the Google search term rankings. Seven years later, the scandalous photos still show up first when you search for her on Google.

Of course, Botwright was moderately to fully aware (how could she not be?) of what she was voluntarily letting herself get involved in. In yesterday's Telegrath, she's quoted saying:

“It was the governing body's idea and obviously was completely staged. I didn’t go to one of the meetings I was supposed to attend and that was my punishment. Always go to a meeting - that’s the key!”

The World Squash Championships run from Oct. 11-19, and shortly thereafter Botwright will takeover as Chief. And barring any unforeseen stunts at next month's event, retain the title of squash's most recognizable yet controversial figure.

Links:

Vicky Botwright ready to expose new role for British squash
SQUASH BOSSES GET THEIR KNICKERS IN A TWIST

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 26, 2008

2008-09-26T09:15:00.002-04:00

The Dodger clinched the NL West title on Thursday, and are playoff bound. Rafael Furcal is just psyched he doesn't have to report to jail at the end of this season.

Week 4 NFL Power Rankings (NE Patriots Draft)
Thanks For Choking Again Trojans (MoonDog Sports)
Lil' Wayne Is Not Only a Packers Fan, He Is Also a Blogger; Awesomeness Ensues (FANHOUSE)
THE JENNY CRAIG ALL-STARS (The World of Isaac)
Tale of the Tape: Wall Street Vs. New York Mets (SI Extra Mustard)

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 25, 2008

2008-09-25T09:49:00.003-04:00

Natalie Portman broke up with her boyfriend Debra or whatever he's called, so that her an I can get back together.

Some say this doesn't qualify as getting back together, since technically we were never together. Others simply tell me: give up, it's never gonna happen. Haters. (via Pop Candy)

Olivia Wilde: Thank You For Being So Hot (MoonDog Sports)
VLADE DIVAC'S FACE IS A BIG PROBLEMA FOR THE LADIES (Epic Carnival)
Video: Kimbo Slice's Attempt To Kill David Blaine (Awful Announcing)
Gambling 2.0: Bet On Obama-McCain Debate (Busted Coverage)
McCain (not) on Letterman (The Sound of Young America)
Sunday Night baseball ratings for the Yankees finale weren’t great. (via The Big Lead)

Race-Walking Marred By Scandal!

2008-09-24T18:33:00.007-04:00

Blood doping is assaulting our sports landscape as brutally as any other rule-bending plague out there.

The latest sport to fall victim - race walking, on the World Class scale of...

MOSCOW -- Five Russian race walkers, including world record-holder Sergei Morozov, have been suspended for two years for doping. Morozov, Viktor Burayev, Vladimir Kanaikin, Igor Yerokhin and Alexei Voevodin were sanctioned by the national federation for testing positive for the endurance-enhancing hormone EPO, the All Sport news agency said Tuesday. (AP)

Enhancement drug scandals in race walking. Is cheating officially everywhere?

Link:

5 Russian race walkers banned for doping (MiamiHerald.com)

London Olympics to Include Toilets Not Facing Mecca

2008-09-24T15:34:00.004-04:00

The Olympic brass is already hard at work with the logistics of the London 2012 Games.

London - Olympic organizers issued detailed design rules for the 2012 London games Wednesday, including a mandate that at least some toilets in the Olympic park do not face the holy Islamic city of Mecca. (The Seattle Times)

The committee - deemed the Olympic Delivery Authority - says they're dedicated to creating an atmosphere that appeals to as many people from different cultures as possible.

More details like this to be flushed out I'm sure.

Links:

2012 Olympics rule: Toilets that don't face Mecca (Seattle Times)
Olympic Delivery Authority

U.S. Wins Ryder Cup, Again!

2008-09-24T13:21:00.004-04:00

Little did we know that United States' victory last week in the Ryder Cup would not only mark the U.S.'s first victory in competition since 1999, but also a two-for-two in International team golf events in the past month.

I'm not sure what's more impressive, ending that near-decade long drought, or this...

On Aug. 22, Team USA capped off an impressive 14 1/2 to 9 1/2 victory over an International squad, in the annual College Park Cup, which is basically the Ryder Cup for amputee golfers.

The College Park Cup, first held in 1998, was founded by College Park Industries, a company that specializes in the manufacturing prosthetic limbs for athlete amputees. CPI also hosts the Extremity Games, an extreme sports competition for those who've lost limbs that was inaugurated last year.

Check out this amazing clip of a man demonstrating amputee golf...

Links:

Amputee golfers do well at international tourney (St. Petersburg Times)
NAGAgolf.org

Eight Belles Trainer Puts Himself Out To Pasture

2008-09-24T11:22:00.005-04:00

Eight Belles, with Trainer Larry Jones

Larry Jones, who trained this year's Kentucky Derby runner-up Eight Belles, says he will retire after the 2009 Breeders Cup.

"I'm just physically tired, and it seems like I have a hard time keeping everybody happy," Jones said. (Kentucky.com)

Jones fell under intense scrutiny after Eight Belles' tragic collapse and death at this year's 2008 Kentucky Derby, criticism that he told the AP, "took a toll on his life."

This coming year's run for the roses will be Jones' last shot at the Kentucky Derby victory that has eluded him throughout his career. Along with Eight Belles, Jones trained Kentucky Oaks winner Proud Spell and Derby runner-up Hard Spun.

Links:

Eight Belles' trainer Jones to retire (Associated Press)

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 24, 2008

2008-09-24T09:03:00.005-04:00

photo credit

Kings of Leon rocked Webster Hall last night. And Rolling Stone has deemed their newly released album Epic.

NAME THAT FALL TV STAR (The World or Isaac)
The Office: Sports Edition (NE Patriots Draft)
Rising NHLer KO’d By Evil Golf Cart (Sports By Brooks)
Keith Olbermann: The Goof That Changed The Game (via The Big Lead)
Diagnosing Chuck Klosterman (via Pop Candy)

...and here's KOL at Webster Hall back in 2005.

GOLFERS RESCUE PASSENGERS FROM PLANE CRASH!

2008-09-23T16:22:00.003-04:00

Heroic linksmen ran to the aid of two passengers of a single engine Cessna that crashed shortly after a failed landing yesterday afternoon in Carlsbad, CA.

CARLSBAD – Golfers pulled two injured men from their two-seat plane that crashed into a ravine late yesterday afternoon after a touch-and-go takeoff from McClellan-Palomar Airport, authorities said.
The single-engine Cessna 152, rented in Long Beach, hit a brushy slope near the 16th hole of The Crossings at Carlsbad golf course, about half a mile northwest of the runway. (via SignOnSanDiego.com)

The golfers heard the plane sputtering overhead, before it went down falling 30-feet into a ravine! The two passengers, 19 and 22, suffered only fractures and cuts, and were said to be "alert but confused" as they were taken from the scene.

LINK:

Plane crashes into ravine; pilot, passenger hurt (San Diego Union-Tribune)

Doyle Brunson's Chips Fall with McCain...

2008-09-23T14:16:00.005-04:00

He doesn't sound all in, but a recent blog post by Doyle Brunson, poker's most legendary maverick , on Doyle's Room makes him seem to be leaning towards McCain:

"It's hard to believe, but McCain has taken the lead in the Presidential race. They rolled the dice when they chose Governor Palin to run for Vice-President and they threw a seven, because she really turned things around for the Republicans."

Brunson then continued: "It's hard not to be in McCain's camp after listening to his life story. He really is an American hero. I'm not sure either Presidential candidate is the right person to lead our country over the next few years." (via 911gambling.com)

Brunson had initially said he'd be voting Democrat for the first time in his life this election.

In a survey of 1639 American Poker players, Yahoo! Sports UK reports that 64% support Obama over McCain, who both are apparently proficient poker players in their own right. Sarah Palin has also been known to play a few hands. However, the trump card (not to mix bad gambling puns, or nothing) goes to Joe Biden, whose son, according to 911Gambling, was a lobbyist for online gambling site PartyGaming.

If the most recently proposed $700 billion bailout goes through, if and when Obama gets elected it sounds like he might be playing short stacked, concerning his spending programs.

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 23, 2008

2008-09-23T09:22:00.001-04:00

Kings of Leon celebrate today's release of their new album Only By The Night with a show at Webster Hall in NYC tonight. I'll be there, it should be pretty rockin'.

British Media Happily Teeing Off on Nick Faldo (FANHOUSE)
Four Major Labels Make Deal To Release Memory Card Albums (Rolling Stone ROCK N' ROLL DAILY)
Warren Sapp Sets Miami Football Back 25 Years (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Even Ronnie Lott Knows The SEC Is Awesome (MoonDog Sports)
Magnetic Fields' Merritt Inspires Line of Footwear (Pitchfork Media)

The Mooks of Kickball, Part Six

2008-09-22T17:43:00.006-04:00

Welcome to part six of my seemingly infinite discourse on the wacky (sometimes wackness) from the wide world of kickball.

Though we're not exactly sure what this edition's transgressor is up to, some guy who calls himself Kickball Jesus is pumping some kind of kickball meets desolation art exhibit in the Mojave Desert on his blog P.I.M.P.S (People Making Psychogeography Sexy)

Coming November 7th, 2008...

...Only at High Desert Test Sites (HDTS) The Worlds of Kickball and "Sub Fine" Art Collide in The Mojave Desert like Never Before!!

Stay Tuned for more info!!!

~Kickball Jesus (KJ)

Kickball's Second Coming also affiliates himself with an organization dubbed 'Kickball Jesus Speculative Ocean Front Property Development Corporation', which he owns the copyright on.

Whatever this is (probably just a guy whose government name is now kickball jesus), it will be the inaugural exhibit of the Wonder Valley Institute of Art, located in the cultural mecca of Mojave.

Links:

Wonder Valley International C(K)ickball Association (P.I.M.P.S)
Wonder Valley Institute of Contemporary Art

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 22, 2008

2008-09-22T09:42:00.003-04:00

Travis Barker and DJ AM are expected to make a full recovery after sustaining second and third degree burns when their plane exploded during take-off over the weekend. My thoughts and prayers are with their family and friends. (via Pop Candy)

David Eggers Interviews Chris Elliot (The Sound of Young America)
Who do you want on your couch today? Obama or McCain? (The Shutdown Corner)
10 wild card players in the NBA this season (Cuzoogle)
Joey Porter, Anthony Smith: Tale of the Tape (NE Patriots Draft)
Jim Zorn To Steve Largent, Top Pass Combo, Video (NESW Sports)

The Cheers, and The Jeers...

2008-09-19T14:10:00.005-04:00

Just because the track is no longer slanted, does not mean the semantics of competition can't be. For example, instead of conventional cheerleaders hell on wheels has....jeerleaders!

OR, even better, fearleaders!

These diabolical pep mavens are sort of a cross between the Knicks City Dancers (if they were all tatted up) and the creatures that comprise the Raiders fan base.

No better way to get acquainted with them than watching a dance off! Here are LA Derby Dolls Fearleaders facing off against the Gotham City Jeerleaders at last year's RollerCon...

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 19, 2008

2008-09-19T09:27:00.003-04:00

Baroness has been described as the musical equivalent of bodyblow-bodyblow-uppercut. You ever get in the mood to just listen to metal? I do, frequently.

Blogger Interview: Hugging Harold Reynolds (The Big Picture)
Wee Man Picks Shaq Up Off the Ground, Video (NESW Sports)
David Stern renames NBA teams due to boredom (Cuzoogle)
Jets Flight Crew got new unis; Sterger still employed (on205th)
10 Hottest Actresses in Sports Movies (InGameNow blog)
These Go To Eleven: Hottest Cartoon Characters (Brahsome)

...that's a masterful post by Brahsome, by the way. Speaking of which, Baroness was a pretty hot G.I. Joe character herself.

Public Health Foundation Vows to Bring Recess Back!

2008-09-18T12:00:00.003-04:00

The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation recently announced they'll invest $18 million dollars to bring recess to the elementary schools of America's minority and low-income kids. They've partnered with Sports4Kids, a national nonprofit, whose website claims they want to have recess back in 650 schools in 27 different cities by 2012.

In 2007, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation issued a report called Recess Rules. Obviously. Recess was excellent, except for indoor recess - especially back in the 80's when we had one Commodore 64 in the classroom. I maintain that bad weather depression is not an innate response, but a learned condition from years spent playing paper football during recess on gloomy days (sucked).

Thinking along those lines, if recess has truly failed to survive - and frankly, it was news to me and I'm shocked that it's so non-existent that we need 18 million bucks to bring it back - kids these days must be downtrodden constantly! We need to get these kids out of the trappings of their classroom and onto the playing field - if only for 15 minutes proceeding lunchtime each day. Apparently, The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation also puts trained adults on the playground to help kids learn the dying recess games of yore - kickball, tag, etc. I'm down. I'll help unleash the four square champion inside each impressionable youth.

Check out rwjf.org and Sports4kids.org for more info.

Links:

Tag, You're Healthy!

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 18, 2008

2008-09-18T09:24:00.003-04:00

The polls close for THE IRON REF in a matter of hours, and I need your help. I'm facing off against some dude who goes by The Russianator. I'm sure he's a good guy...and probably commie. So, get moving! Voting ceases to be at 5 p.m. EST.

Rating Rider Cup Wives (Cuzoogle)
Seven Things Gilbert Arenas Now Has Time For (The World of Isaac)
Week Three NFL Power Rankings (NE Patriots Draft)
Meet Matt Ass-Hell (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Touchdown Monkey, Colts Commercial (NESW Sports)
More Dirty Angels Photos in Anaheim (The Sports Culture)
Gators LB Spikes Call Volunteers "Quitters" (Moondog Sports)

VOTE! LIKE TEN MO' TIMES!

2008-09-17T06:00:00.001-04:00

I'm competing this week in Hugging Harold Reynold's IRON REF. When I agreed to do this, HHR told me I could hand select my opponents. So when I sent in that photo of me admiring fine arts in Paris with my bio, I indicated I'd like to face-off against the creator of Soveryposh.com and my buddy J Dot Domingo, who once had a blog about his fake ex-girlfriend. Since The Chief doesn't appear to be interested in me rigging the contest, why not go for broke I thought?

Go vote for my post about Michael Phelps, Lil' Wayne, and divine intervention - sounds like a campaign you could stand behind, right?

Even if you morally object to what I have to say, there's more Weezy over there where this came from to...

The Iron Ref

2008-09-15T12:45:00.008-04:00

Your boy young MH will be competing in this week's IRON REF competition over at Hugging Harold Reynold's.

Go check out The Chief's intro to this week's showdown, and see my bio - forgot to mention the detail that I've had exactly zero haircuts in '08. The secret ingredient is divine intervention and the posts go live on Wednesday! The only hint I'll give out: Weezy, baby!

Surf Goddesses, Nice

2008-09-11T19:06:00.015-04:00

My respect has always gone out to surfers and their brand of aquatic athleticism. Hence, I watch Point Break every time it's on Spike TV (if you’re like me, there is no surprise that Swayze has yet to succumb to cancer)

Um, Swayze played a bank robbing surf ninja in that film, and you’re going to give him weeks to live? Secondary to that, the royalties off starring in a film that’s played 1400 times a year on cable (a 50/50 split, approx. 700 airings each on Spike and TBS) must be pretty lucrative – good enough to pay for high-end cancer treatment, I’d imagine.

Swayze rules (given); but as much as I love Point Break for its intricate plot lines and its determination to portray Gary Busey's character as the sane one, I’d rather watch Kate Bosworth and Michelle Rodriguez hit the surf in Blue Crush any day (it would be my second favorite surf movie, and Surf Ninjas is a distantly distant third). With that said, we turn our attention to the ASP World Tour and women’s pro surfing. The ladies are competing in Rio De Janeiro this week, and are already in to the quarterfinals of the Billabong Girls Pro Rio. The tournament runs until Sep. 18, with the winner taking home $85,000.

Go to ASPWorldTour.com to learn more, and check out photos from flickr of the Roxy Team:

Megan Abubo

Missy Gibson

Kassia Meador

Sofia Mulanovich

Veronica Kay

How's that for Friday reading?

Punk Meets Calisthenics

2008-09-11T13:04:00.007-04:00

They're calling it a cross between recess and boot camp.

If you're looking for a workout routine that combines jump rope, tug-o-war, relay races, and punk rock tunes, then Punk Rope might be for you.

Punk Rope is available on DVD online at PunkRope.com. This drill is called shark tag, I believe...

Links:

Punk Rope on Flickr

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 11, 2008

2008-09-11T10:24:00.002-04:00

Check out Metro's interview with GZA, who is on tour performing seminal album 'Liquid Swords' in its entirety.

'Dark Knight' plans rerelease (via Pop Candy)
More fall movies coming to the NBA (Cuzoogle)
What If FanHouse Had Its Very Own Large Hadron Collider? (FANHOUSE)
Armored cars for NFL players? (The Shutdown Corner)
Do Not Call Kevin Garnett 7 Foot Tall, Craig Sager (NESW Sports)

Horrific Crash at the Paralympics!

2008-09-10T13:44:00.003-04:00

At yesterday's 2008 Paralympics in Beijing, a huge pileup occurred in the final seconds of the women's 5000 meters, with six of eleven racers getting taken out in the last 500 m of the race.

Canada's Diane Roy, who set a Paralympic record with a time of 11:45:03, was awarded the gold. But after three of the nations competing protested, officials decided the race would be re-run.

In other Paralympics news, the Brits are raking in the medal count.

Anthony Lappe made it a perfect 11 out of 11 for Britain in cycling events, with a gold in the men's sprint for the visually impaired! Here he is pictured with pilot Barney Storey, whose wife Sarah Storey won gold for Britain in cycling as well.

Check out highlights of yesterday's events from Paralympic.tv's YouTube channel - including Lappe's gold medal (world record setting to boot) run, and that wild crash...

Links:

After crash, women's wheelchair 5,000 will try again (Universal Sports)
Paralympics: Swimmers and cyclists add five golds to British haul (The Guardian

Belichick Sends Rattay & Simms Home...

2008-09-09T18:18:00.004-04:00

With the first position on the waiver wire - as a result of having the most abysmal week in the league - I've locked up Matt Cassel on my Fantasy Team.

The New York Times reports:

The New England Patriots, sifting through their quarterback options in the wake of Tom Brady’s season-ending knee injury, sent free agents Chris Simms and Tim Rattay home Monday afternoon without even working them out, Coach Bill Belichick acknowledged in a conference call Tuesday.

(Belichick Declines to Sign Simms and Rattay)

...and I picked up Daunte, just in case.

Olbermann Dethroned...

2008-09-09T13:23:00.007-04:00

Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews were ousted today as MSNBC's anchors for election coverage, with claims being made that they were too overtly liberal on-air.

Before there was Keith the bleeding lefty, there was Keith, SportsCenter mainstay. From 1992 to 1997, Olbermann was one of the go-tos for ESPN, before he was sacked there unceremoniously.

Here's a few of Keith's best clips from that era, including the report on Bret Favre entering rehab (where he's talking so fast he almost seizes) and a Boston Market commercial where he invokes the term ooie-gooey (sp.)

Go watch Meghan McCain on mute

2008-09-09T10:40:00.003-04:00

I'd check her out for a hot second...

Link:

Meghan McCain on her book, dad

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 9, 2008

2008-09-09T09:35:00.002-04:00

If you haven't started watching Lucy, Daughter of the Devil on Adult Swim yet, get to it....

Top 5 Best Fake Sports Movies (Deuce of Davenport)
Former UFC Champ Evan Tanner Dead at 37 After Going Missing in Desert (Fanhouse)
Mars Blackmon’s One Wish, Michael Jordan, Nike, Commercial (NESW Sports)
Note to Steven Jackson: Training Camp helps prepare you for hits like this (Sports Fiends)

Head of Sumo Resigns After Wrestlers Test Positive...for a little weed?

2008-09-08T16:49:00.005-04:00

Kitanoumi, the head of Japan's embattled sumo association, resigned on Monday after two pro sumo wrestlers tested positive for smoking pot, Reuters reports.

I caused trouble to the sumo association and to fans, so I have resigned," Kitanoumi, chairman of the Japan Sumo Association (JSA), told a news conference after a meeting of the sport's top officials.

Two Russian wrestlers tested positive for marijuana last week, setting off a media frenzy about abuses in the sport, which historians say dates back 2,000 years and which makes much of its respect for tradition. Hakurozan, who trains at Kitanoumi's gym or "stable", and his brother Roho, both denied smoking the drug.

The positive test results came shortly after another Russian wrestler was arrested and fired for suspected marijuana possession.

I could see if one of these behemoths unleashes the banzai drop on someone in a Tokyo karaoke bar on his watch, but over a marijuana charge?

It seems a little harsh, but then we learned...

Junichi Yamamoto, a master of a stable that trains [sumo] wrestlers, was arrested in April 2008 on assault charges for reputedly beating a 17-year-old trainee. There have also been accusations that sumo matches have been fixed, and the rise of foreign athletes has rankled many fans.

and then we learned...

According to The Washington Post, After the beating became public, the JSA sent a survey to the 53 stables in Japan, asking about their training practices. More than 90 percent have used baseball bats or similar implements in training, the survey found. About a third of the stables said bullying and other forms of abuse occurred during training.

Fact is, nobody thought Kitanoumi's house was in order.

The two wrestlers who tested positive for marijuana have been expelled from the sport for life. They are the first wrestlers ever kicked out for drug use in Sumo's 2000 year history.

Kitanoumi, 55, was a grand champion yokozuna and the youngest ever in the history of sumo.

Additional Links:

Japan: Sumo chief resigns over drugs scandal (The Guardian)
Kitanoumi finally forced out / Gives up efforts to protect Russian pair embroiled in marijuana scandal (The Yomiuri Shimbun)
Sumo Wrestling Struggling Under Weight of Recent Scandals (Finding Dulcinea)

Brazilian Soccer Stadium = Bedlam

2008-09-08T15:39:00.004-04:00

This guy had an awesome time taking in a match in Rio de Janeiro.

These stadium stands look more like downtown Hanoi than a sporting event...

Brady. Done.

2008-09-08T10:21:00.003-04:00

The diagnosis of Tom Brady's injury is right in line with how it looks in this gruesome photo.

When this incident occurred, we were at the local bar. It is literally the closest drinking establishment in proximity to my apartment, and they popped for the football package this year. Additionally, they have a free buffet, which when that ran out they ordered pizzas for the whole bar. I bought one round, my roommate bought one round, and then we had beers being bought for us throughout the game. I spent exactly $9 bucks, and was able to ignore the idea that Pats Player Personnel honcho Scott Pioli might be trying to get Testaverde on the phone.

This was a better way to see Brady get knocked out for the season than say the Pats fan who watched it at home on a new flat screen that was purchased to go with the Sunday Ticket package they just dolled out $300 smackers for. Now they're left with the realization of being locked in a two-year contract with DirectTV, and satellite TV reception that teeters in the balance each time the wind picks up.

No matter how you saw it go down, the news is settling in for everyone this morning. I had the displeasure learning the final prognosis from the backpage of the horrendous NY Post. The eloquently worded headline: Yahoo! Brady Out For Year. (Of course, it comes on the day The Post announces that they endorse McCain for President)

After that, I changed my fantasy football team's name to Bernard Pollard, I'm planning to fly to Kansas City, break into your house, and rip your wife in half.

Talk Derby to Me...

2008-09-05T15:30:00.009-04:00

WWE's Mickie James on Psych

Hell on wheels hits cable tonight, as this week's episode of Psych features show star Maggie Lawson and WWE Diva Mickie James playing roller girls.

The apropos titled ep Talk Derby to Me also features a couple of the L.A. Derby Dolls, and had the Vancouver Derby squad on-set to consult on the action.

In a recent interview, James told TheDeadbolt.com,

I have a newfound respect for [derby girls] because, like I said before, the Vancouver roller-derby team was there with us showing us different stuff...I didn’t realize that they were as tough and that; they get out there and they pretty much beat each other up a little bit. I respect that being an athlete myself and getting beat up and beating people up all of the time.

Yeah, she's crazy. Love it.

All I cared to know about Psych before this was that Dorn is on it. But I can't pass up roller derby's first return to the small screen since Charlie's Angels! I'll tivo. Look for my reaction on twitter around 10 a.m. tomorrow, while I'm enjoying this with a bloody mary and a breakfast of bacon.

The new episode of Pysch premieres tonight on USA at 10 p.m. ET.

Link:

Roller Skating into Psych with WWE Diva Mickie James
Charlie's Angels "Death on Wheels"

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 5, 2008

2008-09-05T10:09:00.004-04:00

I'm not the first to say this. But you heard it here early, Brandon Jacobs - if he stays healthy - is going to have a monster year.

Peyton Manning, Meatloaf Mercedes, SNL Commercial (NESW Sports)
ESPN Columnist Opening for Magnetic Fields (Pitchfork)
Our Interview With Chuck Klosterman (Mouthpiece Sports)
NCAA, Newspapers Draw Blogging Battle Lines (via The Big Lead)
Wired.com Readers' Best Geek Tattoos (via Pop Candy)

CHAD JOHNSON OFFICIALLY CHANGED HIS NAME TO OCHO CINCO!

2008-09-04T15:48:00.003-04:00

The player formerly known as Chad Johnson...get used to that.

Today the Bengals announced this afternoon that they will now refer to the player formerly known as Chad Johnson as Chad Ocho Cinco, per his legal name change in Florida.

The decision was approved by the NFL office and the Bengals.

He will be listed as “Chad Ocho Cinco for all club business,” the club announced in a press release.

Oh, don't you worry. It'll say Ocho Cinco on the back of his jersey.

NYHoosier, thanks for the tip.

Link:

Bengals honor 'Ocho Cinco' (Cincinnati.com)

Tiger Woods Putts a Rubick's Cube...

2008-09-04T15:07:00.003-04:00

c/o milk and cookies.

He read that sharp right-to-left break nicely.

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 4, 2008

2008-09-04T10:03:00.003-04:00

AMNY gets a hat tip for putting Bristol Palin's yokel babydaddy on the cover this morning the day after the big coming out speech.

Levi Johnston's Demon Hockey Seed Complicates Matters For GOP (DEADSPIN)
RATM at the RNC (NYHoosier)
Charles Barkley Rap, Nike Commercial (NESW Sports)
New Contest - ‘Create-a-Nick for Monta’ and Win Better Basketball DVD! (The Hoops Doctor)
Unassuming, Bald, Crafty 26-year-old Kid From Ohio Destroys LeBron in H-O-R-S-E (*VIDEO) (The Big Lead)

Go watch that Rage video, please.

The Scarebear...

2008-09-03T15:49:00.005-04:00

Gotta tip my hat, and twittersource J.E. Skeets (Balls Don't Lie), a man who shares my affinity for the Obama throwback.

The Scarebear, clever in concept...

...Awesome in t-shirt.

Link:

Snorgtees.com

I swore, One Fantasy League this year...

2008-09-03T06:00:00.002-04:00

I pledged. I vowed. Things were going to be different this year...

One league.

I failed. I just finished my third fantasy draft of the year. Also, I signed up for the KSK Survival Pool this morning. Will Power? Never heard of him. Was that the Silver Surfer's alter-ego?

I hi-jacked a Chinese Food delivery vespa tonight to make it home in time for the final draft (money league, keeper league - Mr. Number One Luck Sang would understand).

Last year, this exact scenario blew up in my face - three leagues, and after week one I didn't even look at two of them. And I was out of the Survival Pool, before things even got started (damn, that Thursday Football Opening Night America Horse Caca!)*

And yet, here I am. Spread too thin . What is it that I can't say no to here?

I can't be alone on this. I want to know how indulgent your fantasy docket is? Post in the comments how many fantasy football leagues, NFL survival pools, bookies on speed dial, etc. etc. you've gotten yourself into this year.

And if a few people want to disclose that they also waste their time on Fantasy NASCAR, or better yet - an Oscar Pool, that would probably help too.

*Like every dedicated Football fan, I'm actually pumped that the NFL opens on Thursday. Make sure you have your picks and players set by kickoff!

TOSS THE BURNER: Sep. 2, 2008

2008-09-02T10:15:00.003-04:00

Tristan Wilds returns to the small screen tonight in the premiere of (errr) 90210. Regardless of what happens, I think we can all agree he was brutally awesome in The Wire.

Palin's Sojourn as a Sportscaster (The Washington Post)
Dr. Julius Erving, Dr. Chapstick, Commercial (NESW Sports)
Monta Ellis: 'Ain't no way [to guard me]' (Odenized)
More Usainity (Rumors & Rants)

Wii Fit girl plays Beijing 2008 video game

2008-09-01T23:20:00.002-04:00

In 2008, Jo Garcia was named Playboy's Cyber Girl of the Year - an honor and distinction I (rightfully) would not have assumed had much to do with her video game prowess. She first captured our attention with her reprise of that anonymous girl's Wii Fit hula hooping in her underwear. And now, they got Jo to test out Sega's less-than-sensuous Beijing 2008 game.

And it has exposed her, as a huge nerd.

Did they have to cut some takes of her talking about using the pink glove to jerk the analog stick that sounded more awkward? How much of her snorting at her own jokes was edited out?

By the way, Jo, geeky is adorable. Don't ever change.

Link:

Cyber girl Jo Garcia plays video game Beijing 2008 (Uncommon Sportsman)

Peyton petitions for Football in the Olympics!

2008-08-28T11:31:00.000-04:00

He thinks it's completely bogus that we can't throttle other countries on an Olympic gridiron.

Hat tip to NyHoosier

Link:

MakeFootballAnOlympicSport.com
YouTube

TOSS THE BURNER: Aug. 28, 2008

2008-08-28T10:22:00.000-04:00

Reminding you to drink responsibly this Labor Day, and always buckle up...

Norm Macdonald Tells Nastia Liukin: Olympic Judging Is 'Commie Gobbledygook' (FANHOUSE)
Six Types of Sports Bloggers (The Sports Dollar)
LaDainian works the Kenmore frost-free heavy bag (Kissing Suzy Kolber)
Michael Phelps To Host Season Premiere of 'Saturday Night Live' (FANHOUSE)
7 of the Worst Basketball Related Songs I Care to Remember! (The Hoops Doctor)
Sign Language (Hugging Harold Reynolds)

Erie whiffleballers play 24-hour game...

2008-08-27T10:33:00.000-04:00

I've been slacking on here, but this aught to redeem myself at least a little...

ALBION -- No one struck out when it came to playing a marathon whiffle-ball game over the weekend for charity and a scholarship fund...They recorded the marathon on tape. It began at 7 p.m. Friday and ended at about 7 p.m. Saturday. (Whiffle-ball game for charity lasts 24 hours, sets record - Erie Times-News)

I think these stats speak for themselves...

Final Score: 935 - 514, the game ended in the top of the 149th inning (there was no need for the home team to bat in the bottom half...with a 421 run lead)

According to one of the player's wives, some players hit 150 to 200 home runs (with a 64-foot fence, she's probably not exaggerating that bad)

The players raised $1500 for charity, and (surprise, surprise) they could find themselves in the Guinness Book of World Records.

TOSS THE BURNER: Aug. 26, 2008

2008-08-26T09:51:00.000-04:00

After much chagrin, StuffTheOlympicsLiked.com is rolling. If you're interested in submitting, check it out here.

The New Yorker Festival Announces Its Lineup (via Pop Candy)
Good Thing Evander Holyfield Isn't A Woman And On The LPGA Tour (Deuce of Davenport)
Report: 2016 Olympic Games Are 'Chicago's to Lose if They Don't Muck It Up' (Fanhouse)
Andrew WK and Lee Scratch Perry are Friends! (The Sound of Young America)
Coffee is For Closers (Bugs & Cranks)

....and check out the first entry to STOL.com about Jackie Chan, Olympic Superstar.

Check. Your. Local. Listings.

2008-08-22T11:43:00.000-04:00

In an effort to get StuffTheOlympicsLiked.com up and running, posts here are going to be short and sweet.

Doesn't mean they can't contain a bucket of awesome, however.

With that said, if you get FitTV you should be watching Namaste Yoga. For your viewing pleasure...

It's yoga that can be enjoyed from your couch, with a can of Budweiser! The HR guy at my company turned me onto this by the way - god bless him.

TOSS THE BURNER: Aug. 22, 2008

2008-08-22T10:12:00.000-04:00

Hamlet 2 opens tonight, here's a delightful track from the movie titled Rock Me Sexy Jesus.

...video after the links as well.

Fake PTI Video, Le Batard and Coach Wannstedt (NESW Sports)
Chromeo performs with Daryl Hall (via Pop Candy)
Chinese Men Mesmerized By Olympic Cheerleaders (Busted Coverage)
Chiukeung, LEGO Ambassador (And One)

TOSS THE BURNER: Aug. 21, 2008

2008-08-21T09:38:00.000-04:00

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh won the gold medal yesterday during a rain storm. (I don't know what I did to deserve that). I could see this match living in my DVR for quite awhile.

Anyone else lose count of how many time Karch Kiraly said wet balls?

Exclusive Clip From 'Choke' (via Pop Candy)
Kerri Walsh, Misty May-Treanor Win Gold in Rain Soaked Beach Volleyball (Fanhouse)
How to Get Around Nintendo's Pesky, 330-Pound Wii Fit Weight Limit (The Sporting Blog)
USAIN BOLT=INSANE (Epic Carnival)
Grab A Beer & Watch Racewalking (Busted Coverage)

Seriously, what do I need to do to host my own women's beach volleyball tournament?

The Mooks of Kickball, Part Five

2008-08-20T14:42:00.000-04:00

I never thought it would get this out of hand...

TAMPA, FL -- Police have arrested a local kickball coach and charged him with raping a 21-year-old kickball player. 26-year-old Andre Javon Newton is also accused of threatening the player's life.

Investigators say Newton visited the woman in late July and asked her to help provide money for kickball uniforms.

When she went into a bedroom, he reportedly followed her, pushed her onto a bed, and then raped her.

Tampa Police say this is the same kickball league that spawned fights at Riverfront Park back in late-May when officers responded to a brawl of about 100-people. (ABC Action News - Tampa kickball coach accused of raping player)

With the past incidents, It would not shock me if Tampa had some sort of penal kickball league already in existence. Unfortunately for this mook, he's probably just got lots and lots of solitary confinement to look forward to.

Related Posts:

What the Hell is going on with these Kickball Leagues?
Women's Kickball League Banned From Tampa Parks, Files Complaint With NAACP

Roller Derby Face-Off: Bacon versus Salt

2008-08-20T14:06:00.000-04:00

Quality 1-on-1 roller derby match-up between two diet staples…

Salt really abandons the tenet of good sportsmanship with that croquet mallet.

It gets a little contentious at center track, before salt goes out of his gourd and skates straight into the wall.

Supports the assertion that bacon is awesome.

I would even eat it in ice cream.

Frank Evans: Matador, Pensioner

2008-08-20T11:33:00.000-04:00

His name is Frank "El Ingles" Evans. He's 66 years-old, and the only living English bullfighter.

He's slain over 300 bulls in his 40+ year career. This past weekend, he got back in the ring for the first time in three years since having a knee replacement and quadruple bypass heart surgery.

His next stop could be a matador tour of South America - so that he can say he's fought in every country in the world that will allow you to kill a bull inside a ring. (Fighting fit at 66: Britain's heart bypass matador back with a flourish)

This guy makes me feel bad about myself, and ashamed to know half the people I know.

What's another 400,000 in Olympic condom distro?

2008-08-19T12:27:00.001-04:00

Last week, I heard that the IOC and Co. were injecting the Olympic Village with a cache of condoms, totaling 100,000 in count.

Au contrere, mon frere.

The Beijing Health Bureau thought this initial number was tailored more to a Young Life church lock-in, and decided let's just bump that up to half a mil, shall we?

"About 400,000 free condoms have been distributed [by the Beijing Health Bureau] to 119 contract hotels of the Olympic Games to ensure that safe sex takes place during the fortnight-long event...Xinhua quoted Jin Dapend [Beijing Health Bureau’'s Party chief] as saying that condoms had been put in over 90,000 rooms of 424 hotels rated three stars and above." (Freshnews.in)

Unsure if it's related (it is), but Michael "Prowl-Mode" Phelps can't seem to get this look off his face since wrapping up...his competition portion of the games.

LINKS:

Beijing health bureau officials distribute 400,000 condoms for safe sex during Olympics
When Not Busy, Hoops Stars Flock To Beach Volleyball

TOSS THE BURNER: Aug. 19, 2008

2008-08-19T09:39:00.000-04:00

Enjoy the trailer for the ATHF movie "Colon"

Muxtape Shut Down For Now (via Pop Candy)
College Fan Sees Every Team, Needs New Hobby (Sports By Brooks)
Mixed Martial Arts in the Olympics? It Just Makes Sense (Fan IQ)
Team Domination (Mac Gs World)
Michael Phelps Sportsmanship, Funny Video (NESW Sports)

....linoleum knife!

Choke Trailer & Radiohead...

2008-08-15T12:50:00.000-04:00

flickr

Another unsubstantiated rumor crashes and burns...Turns out Radiohead did not contribute the entire score to Choke, the film based on the Chuck Palahniuk novel that opens in theaters Sept. 26.

All is not lost, however. Radiohead is indeed releasing a brand new tune for what looks to be a strong soundtrack:

Choke Soundtrack tracklist (being released Sept. 23 exclusively for digital download):

1. Ben Kweller - "The Rules"
2. The Natural History - "Don't You Ever" (rare)
3. Fiery Furnaces - "Navy Nurse"
4. Radiohead - "Reckoner"
5. Alap Momin - "Sin Terror"
6. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "Satan Said Dance"
7. Buzzcocks - "Orgasm Addict" (rare)
8. Death Cab for Cutie - "No Sunlight"
9. Blitzen Trapper - "Wicked" (unreleased)
10. Ms. Tyree Sugar Jones - "If You Feel It"
11. My Morning Jacket - "Touch Me I'm Going To Scream Pt 1"
12. Shout Out Louds - "Bicycle" (rare)
13. Twilight Singers - "There's Been An Accident"
14. Nicole Atkins - "Crystal Ship"

Here you go with the trailer too...

Link:

Radiohead, Buzzcocks, My Morning Jacket Featured on 'Choke' Soundtrack (Spin.com)

TOSS THE BURNER: August 15, 2008

2008-08-15T10:41:00.000-04:00

Julia Child was a spy (sort of) prior to her career hosting a frightening cooking show. That is awesome.

A Philadelphia man sought to extort money… (Deadspin)
IT FELT LIKE MY ARM EXPLODED (World of Isaac)
Forget About The Michael Phelps Diet. Try The Blogger Diet. (Don Chavez)
Dreadlock Deadlock Ends, Sort Of (FanIQ)
Rage To Rock During Democratic Convention (via Pop Candy)

Happy Anniversary Roller Derby!

2008-08-14T17:38:00.000-04:00

Old School Derby Association informs us that yesterday marked the 73rd anniversary of the first Roller Derby, held in Chicago in 1935.

Hell on wheels was graciously brought forth by a gentleman named Leo Seltzer, who after reading a magazine article that said 93% of Americans had, at one point in their life, roller skated decided to launch the sport.

Seltzer's first iteration of Roller Derby had folks skating around an oval track for as many as 11-hours, in marathon races meant to simulate the 3000-mile distance between Los Angeles and New York.

The distance was quickly scaled back and the team concept was also adapted. The ruthlessness has always been encouraged, with five minute sprint races - which often saw elbows being thrown and collisions taking place - being inserted during the early derbies for extra prize money.

Michael Phelps Gets Greedy! (Chows Down)

2008-08-14T14:51:00.001-04:00

According to this, Phelps is more apt to house a lumberjack than stick to his alleged diet regimen.

(via The Guardian)

TOSS THE BURNER: August 14, 2008

2008-08-14T10:22:00.000-04:00

NYHoosier hipped me to One Day As A Lion the other day, which is a collaboration between Jon Theodore (The Mars Volta) and Zach De La Rocha (Some Band). It's definitely got balls, check it out here.

Making The Wire Panel, Go Listen (via Pop Candy)
Lil Wayne Is The Music Of Champions, Ask Michael Phelps (via The Big Lead)
The John Daly PR Machine Is Coming to a Hooters Restaurant Near You (AOL Fanhouse)
Mayorga back in the trash talk business (via With Leather)
Watching The UFC Does Not Make You Tough (Barstool Sports)

Rajon Rondo, looking dapper...

2008-08-13T18:39:00.000-04:00

Rajon Rondo is back to his blogging ways for Yardbarker - cause he's been doing some stuff.

Here he is at the ESPYs (...looking like the fifth top)

Michael Phelps Eats 12,000 Calories a Day!

2008-08-13T15:22:00.000-04:00

He refers to the left page of a Ponderosa menu as the Individual Medley. (NY Post)

This guy's diet makes my Thanksgiving look like peril of third world famine.

Every Single Hot Beach Volleyball Photo from the Olympics...

2008-08-13T13:42:00.000-04:00

The Angry T for Pope...see the madness here.

Slowly curbing my Olympic woes.

TOSS THE BURNER: August 13, 2008

2008-08-13T11:08:00.000-04:00

If you're a Pandora aficionado, create a Lil' Wayne playlist - you won't be disappointed. The story about him in Blender more or less predicts his imminent spontaneous combustion.

Congratulations to Jamie Mottram on the birth of his first kid (Mister Irrelevent)
Wake up with Misty May (Barstool Sports)
Lebron James, 2008 Olympic Diving Alternate, Video (NESW Sports)
The Ultimate NES Collection for sale (Average Dudes)
China's badminton bad boy has girls swooning (via Deadspin)

...I would have bet the house that there was at least a double ff, cc, or nn in aficionado.

The Olympic Village is Gonna Be Rockin'!

2008-08-12T16:52:00.000-04:00

If you weren't aware that the Olympics is a concentrated meat market, then you haven't tuned into beach volleyball yet, or synchronized swimming, or synchronized diving (or badminton, for that matter!)

Anyways, the IOC took notice...

"The UNAIDS, the Beijing organising committee BOCOG and International Olympics Committee are providing 100,000 condoms as part of a campaign on HIV prevention and anti-discrimination. At the Sydney Games in 2000 athletes quickly exhausted a supply of 70,000 and another 20,000 had to be brought in."

The initial plan to distribute 250,000 was met with religious protest, and the numbers were scaled back.

Chinese condom maker, Elasun, is cashing in big time on the Chinese internet with the Olympic sport-themed ad campaign that features cycling, basketball, archery, and swimming.

archery

swimming

cycling

...The stick-man swimming upstream kind of messes with your head, no? And, the archery, well, that's just brutal.

LINKS:

Condoms to satisfy needs of "young, strong, single" Olympic athletes (The Star Phoenix)
Olympic condom ads (The Sydney Morning Herald)

TOSS THE BURNER: August 12, 2008

2008-08-12T10:08:00.000-04:00

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh handled Cuba to improve to 2-0. What is that thing on her arm? Is it a tattoo? Is it fur?

Hot Clicks: Is Leryn Franco the Hottest Olympian? (SI Extra Mustard)
THE BOSS BOWL (via Pop Candy)
Jenn Sterger Set for "Sassy" Jet Roll (Randy's Radar)
Five Esquire Covers that did not make the cut (Cuzoogle)
Menugate (Naomi Can Blog)

...they actually explained Walsh's shoulder during the broadcast, but I was distracted by the athletic grace and superior team chemistry. (and the booty-action)

John McCain...a Mediocre High School Junior Varsity Athlete

2008-08-11T18:47:00.000-04:00

John McCain with his High School Wrestling Team (photo credit)

In a recent interview, John McCain told the LA Times he was looking forward to kicking back and watching the Olympics this week:

"We're all caught up in the excitement of it, especially us mediocre high school junior varsity athletes."

Define mediocre, John. According to this, you were known on the Episcopal High School wrestling team as both McNasty, and simply: punk.

Of course, this appears in stark contrast to his opponent's on-court prowess.

Could have been worse however...at least McCain wasn't a band weenie.

Link:

Mediocre J.V. athlete John McCain eager to watch Olympics (LATimes.com - Top of the Ticket)

Eight year-old Hooks his Weight in Dolphin!

2008-08-11T13:17:00.000-04:00

During a recent fishing expedition in the Florida Keys, young angler Mikey Cappazoli - a second grader! - hooked a 46 lb. dolphin - which matches his weight exactly.

Cappazoli battled the fish for over an hour! And it was the biggest catch of the day. (Sig Hansen can eat this kid’s lunch)

Cappazoli then went on to defeat his entire crew in the Bering Sea Challenge - also known as "cigarette chicken."

LINK:

46-pound 8-year-old catches 46-pound dolphin (ESPN Outdoors)

TOSS THE BURNER: August 11, 2007

2008-08-11T10:00:00.001-04:00

R.I.P. Isaac Hayes, 1942 – 2008

United Football League to Launch in 2009, Commissioner Plans to Sign Michael Vick (Fanhouse)
Tiger's New Rival is Finally Emerging (The Sports Lounge)
NOW, That's What I Call Batting Music! (Joe Sports Fan)
Oh, Sergio... (Deadspin)
Isaac Hayes passes away (Balls Don’t Lie)

Kicking off the medals with a blah-dow!

2008-08-08T12:22:00.000-04:00

Enough of the pageantry and hullaballoo, time to start banging out medals...literally.

The first gold medal will be give out on Saturday...in an event with guns! (umm, awesome?) The home country could jump out to the early lead in the medal count, as China's Du Li is expected to take gold in this event - the Women's 10-Meter Gat-off. (fine, it's actually called the 10 m. Air Rifle)

Expectations for this snipette couldn't be higher, as China dominated the 2004 shooting events - winning four golds, nine medals in total. The pressure is so intense that her coach hired Du - who took gold at Athens - a psychologist leading up to the competition.

The Loot officially starts being handed out Saturday Morning when IOC President Jacque Rogge will present the medals himself to the winners of Women's Air Rifle.

Links:

Shooting Set To Kick Off Olympic Programme (The Telegraph)

TOSS THE BURNER: August 8, 2008

2008-08-08T10:02:00.000-04:00

Here's Radiohead at Lollapalooza last week (Seeing them tomorrow at All Points West! Huzzah!)

Gina Carano, Cris Cyborg to Fight (Not Each Other) at Next CBS EliteXC Show (Fanhouse)
In Case You Forgot, There Are Sports at the Olympics (FanIQ Blog)
A Blogger's Schedule (The Sports Dollar)
Winnie Cooper wrote a book! (Cuzoogle)
“Pineapple” Breaks Wednesday Record (The Zaz Report)

Beijing Stadium Designer Won't Attend Opening Ceremony

2008-08-07T16:44:00.000-04:00

Chinese Artist, Ai Wei Wei, a design consultant for the Bird’s Nest Stadium, says he plans to stay away from the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

"The "Bird's Nest" National Stadium, which I helped to conceive, is designed to embody the Olympic spirit of "fair competition". It tells people that freedom is possible but needs fairness, courage and strength. Following the same principles, I will stay away from the opening ceremony, because I believe the freedom of choice is the basis of fair competition. It is the right I cherish most."

Ai Wei Wei

In a by-line article for The Guardian, Wei Wei says he wanted the stadium to represent freedom, not autocracy, and that China must change.

"We live in a world where everything is politicised, but some people insist the Olympics should be different. They imply that this fortnight of sport is somehow disconnected from history and psychology, unrelated to theory and morality and on a more elevated plane than base human nature. They argue that anyone who links the games with politics has sinister ulterior motives, that they are anti-Chinese. But the real reason they don't like politics is because any discussion of the subject reminds people who was responsible for making China so detached from the rest of the world."

...

The Olympics are planning to throw quite the bruhaha to celebrate the unveiling of this stadium. They’re going to blow up 35,000 fireworks in 1,800 locations around the city. People are so pumped, they’re not even complaining that Jackie Chan is performing. (musically!)

And as the designer at the center of this spectacle, Wei Wei stands to take a healthy share of the credit (Who designed the Athens Olympic Stadium? Zeus?) Wei is an important player and this is his big moment. The fact that he's willing to forego his ultimate celebration because he thinks it's all a guise and a sham is admirable.

Good for you, Asian Zeus. I respect your conviction.

LINKS:

Beijing Olympics: The Bird's Nest stadium (The Telegraph)
Why I'll stay away from the opening ceremony of the Olympics (The Guardian)

TOSS THE BURNER: August 7, 2007

2008-08-07T10:29:00.000-04:00

BLUEPRINT 3 from kwest on Vimeo.

NYHOOSIER let's us know that Blueprint 3 in on the way!

SI Pop Culture Grid (Extra Mustard)
It’s a Really Big Shoe (And One)
Programmer or Writer? (The Sports Dollar)
Natalie Gulbis Shows Leg In Cold British Temps (Busted Coverage)
The Michael Vick Saga Comes to Animal Planet (Over the Top)

The Mooks of Kickball, Part Four: TRIAL OF THE CENTURY!

2008-08-06T10:59:00.000-04:00

Just when I thought it had reached its peak…

According to Washington City Paper, “The Greatest Kickball Lawsuit of All Time” has come to end.

"In 2006, the World Adult Kickball Association (WAKA) sued upstart DC Kickball, claiming that founder and former WAKA officer Carter Rabasa had stolen the association's proprietary rules and then defamed WAKA by calling it "the Microsoft of kickball." Offended and pouting, WAKA demanded $356,000 in damages. Had the legal recourse existed for it, they likely would have forced Rabasa to play bocce for the rest of his life." (DCist)

A motion filed in April by both sides to dismiss the case was just passed. (i.e. everyone woke up)

There is absurdity abound here, clearly.

The WAKA, LLC. A limited liability company (for kickball!). Sounds official, I know. You probably pay your rent to an LLC. Apparently, there is clout to be had in the kickball market, but the "Microsoft of Kickball?" The conglomerate empire...of kickball! Where am I? Even the Initech of kickball shouldn’t exist!

$356,000 in damages! That's like somebody’s pension, if they have decent mob ties. A lawyer – in the unaccredited and strip mall sense of the profession - screed that on some documentation at one point while this suit was going on. Apparently, they were a little off, and calling somebody the Microsoft of is not actually defamation.

Forget the legal precedent set here, Let’s see if we can get a few of the same cuckoo puff law-types back involved, and reopen these proceedings with Frank Zappa suing for copyright infringement – citing the tampering of his song Waka Zawaka.

For the record, copyright infringement, tampering - I don’t know if any of this is proper terminology. If this wasn’t such fantasy camp stuff, I’d be more concerned.

John Daly Tees Off a Beer Can

2008-08-05T17:58:00.000-04:00

The proprietor of Murder Rock Golf Course is back at it again... (via i-am-so-bored)

What they don't want you to know, is that he teen wolfed a beer on the next hole.

LINKS:

Even with his game in decline, Daly still a draw (AP)

Kids play in bouncy castle for 24 hours, get Guinness World Record!

2008-08-05T13:24:00.000-04:00

It's a world record that would make most people dizzy.
Bounce, bounce, bounce ... for 24 hours. That was what eight boys in Michigan did this week in an effort to set a world record.
The boys began the attempt Friday morning at the Bounce-a-Lot entertainment center southwest of Detroit in Flat Rock.
They bounced two at a time in shifts in an inflatable castle. (Metro UK Weird News)

What grinds my gears about these kids is that they’re rubbing it in my face that somewhere Summer vacation still exist, and I am no longer privy to it. Grrr, just look at how carefree these brats look in their mesh shorts and athletic socks! It appears that one kid has an i-pod, you don’t think that I’m listening to music right now that lends itself to bouncing in a giant inflatable balloon? It’s Panama, by Van Halen!

Guinness World Records must still authenticate the record, a process that could take months.

Months? What is this, appeals courts? Is it that we have juveniles attempting this, regularly? If that’s the case, personally, I hope there are some real sob stories out there. Maybe an errant toenail severed the bouncy thing in the seventeenth hour. Maybe a twister swept one away.

Oh, and you better believe that I’m annoyed they did it in rotation. Rotation? What are they, training for the Cop-Out Junior Olympics? Somebody should inform these kids about other faux-endurance activities we have in this country, like team marathons. People love these, because they’re part of team and only have to run part of the race. So people who could never run a real marathon decide to do it…drunk.

Assuming everything checks out and they actually get the record, maybe they’ll luck out and get listed in the book next to the guy who holds the record for wearing the most t-shirts at one time.

Is there a chapter in the Guinness book for ‘People Who Set World Records, But Come Off Looking Like Failures’?

Toss the Burner: August 5, 2008

2008-08-05T10:09:00.000-04:00

Considering that the movie came out in 1985, these Goonies sneakers are pretty futuristic – minus the burlap sack they come in. (via Pop Candy)

Sports Center Fights Are Always Fun (Awful Announcing)
When Athletes Blog… (Ladies…)
NBC Hopes To Cook Up Football Fun w/New Book (SportsByBrooks)
Is Big Brown Really Back? (Barstool Sports)
This Should Go Well: Joe Torre Tells Manny to Shave His Dreads (Fanhouse)

AirBama...

2008-08-04T16:16:00.000-04:00

Shout out to Melfi for this (and, hell, who doesn’t love twittersourcing!)

Maybe, maybe not, you picked up your Barack Obama Punahou High School basketball jersey when we were all shilling for that a while back…in the same throwback light, check out what, in my opinion, is the best in campaign athletic wear yet:
This is of course a retro Air Jordan favorite from when Michael was in his prime, or what I like to call the Steve Kerr era.

Go reserve yours at Robust Flavor

Links:

Airbama T-Shirt By Robust Flavor (Robust Flavor Blog)
How To Lead All The Polls In Style (Deadspin)

Rage Against the Machine: Your Lollapalooza Day-After YouTube Champeen'

2008-08-04T13:24:00.000-04:00

photo credit via Brooklyn Vegan

It's only about midday on the East Coast, so I'm sure there more gold yet to be uploaded from this weekend's Lollapalooza festival (an event I've been saying I'm going to every year, and have yet to attend).

As it stands, the RATM's opening song (Testify) is leading the charge with just under 16,000 views since it was uploaded yesterday.

This has Canon Powershot cinematography written all over it, but in terms of video/sound quality (ghastly compressed for web streaming), I've seen much worse. And if you like Rage, oh man, go check out the set list.

If you were lucky enough to be there, I hope you utilized Blackstone Merlot as your hydrating sports drink of choice.

Toss the Burner: August 4, 2008

2008-08-04T09:10:00.000-04:00

photo credit

I moved over the weekend, which is the most unholy process I know by far.

NASCAR + Radio: Someone Please Explain (The Legend of Cecilio Guante)
Bullfighting Is Played Out Like Kwamé And Them Polka Dots (Deuce of Davenport)
How Many Sobriety Tests Must Paul Pierce Pass? (The Sporting Blog)
Deweycheatumnhowe Pop Quiz (The Big Lead)
11 Websites To Save You Cash During The Recession (Double Viking)

So, while we were trying to jam the sofa bed up the stairs, the neighbors start playing How Deep Is Your Love? by the Bee Gees. ('cause we're living in a world of dreams fools!)

Taking it to the Links!

2008-08-01T09:59:00.000-04:00

photo credit

In an amusing display of Korean nationalism, a golf course in Taebeck, Gaegwon put a Korean flag in the Dokdo part of a Korean Peninsula-shaped sand trap.

Initially, I thought those mini-bunkers were to make you feel like a real jerk if your ball ended up there.

The fanfare marks a revision made last week to the U.S. Board on Geographic Names’ website that classified those disputed islets as territory belonging to no country, which was overturned by your lame duck chief and mine: George W. Bush - who grounds his club in the sand regularly. (ho!)

Seoul applauded Thursday a US decision to relist South Korea as owners of a group of tiny islands, amid a simmering dispute with Japan over claims to the territory.

President George W. Bush said a US agency was reversing its week-long decision that classified in its database the chain of rocky islets as territory belonging to no country.

"As to the database, I asked (Secretary of State Condoleezza) Rice to review it and the database will be restored to where it was ... seven days ago," Bush told a group of Asian reporters at the White House. (SKorea hails US decision on disputed islets)

Yao Ming Saves Olympians from Getting Lost in Translation

2008-07-31T13:36:00.000-04:00

The people running the show in Beijing are doing a remarkably good job at making me believe it is going to be difficult to function as a visiting athlete, media member, spectator, or mobilized protester at the Olympics next month.

Part of this foreign relations problem is the nonchalant approach China is taking towards translating, well, anything.

Not to worry though, folks, Yao has got you covered!

You can pick-up The Tao of Yao for just $1.50 USD on EBAY. And then rest assured that the tattoo you get says Champion...instead of Moo Goo Gai Pan.

Toss the Burner: July 31, 2008

2008-07-31T10:25:00.000-04:00

I’ll miss you, Manny, you enigmatic bastard…

Daily Links:

Return of the Triple Option! (Digital Headbutt)
"Ex-Pats" Writer Decides To Burn Bridges And/Or Create Elaborate PR Stunt (Awful Announcing)
Michael Jordan, not Jackson, with the Toonsquad Jersey, Funny Video (NESW Sports)
Manny's not headed to the Packers? Then how 'bout the Marlins? (Big League Stew)
Angelia Jolie Is She The Purfect Catwoman (Behind Blondie Park)
Gilbert Arenas Is Threatening to Outdo the Playboy Mansion (Fanhouse)

Opening Ceremony Rehearsal Leaked! (...big whoop)

2008-07-30T14:53:00.000-04:00

photo credit

Looks like your standard fare of cirque de acrobatics, and rhythmic gymnastics... along with the recreation of a storm trooper roll out.

It is unclear whether the video's release was authorised, although it is highly unlikely as there has been a huge security clampdown around the ceremony with Chinese officials closely guarding their secret plans.

The 30 seconds of footage shows kung fu fighters, trapeze gymnasts, a giant earth globe, floating 3D humpback whales and orchestral music. (The Guardian UK)

You ever watch the gut-wrenching pageantry that is the opening ceremony? It's painful. I don't think even 3-D humpback whale illusions can save it from it's inherent tedium.

The Koreans really grifted Beijing with this one. Check out the video here.

Toss the Burner: July 30, 2008

2008-07-30T10:26:00.000-04:00

Much like if you preface any potato product with bacon, sour cream, and/or cheddar cheese, adding freestyle in front of any sporting activity immediately grabs my attention.

…with that said, I give you freestyle bullfighting.

After the first 8 seconds, the strategy is essentially: SERPENTINE! SERPENTINE! But the back-flip was pretty cool.

And let the record show that the matador (??) is named Dusty Tuckness and the bull is named E-COLI.

The Red Sox react to the Angels nabbing Mark Teixeira (Deadspin)
Kate Hudson is Single (What Would Tyler Durden Do)
Performancing Ads vs. Blogger (The Sports Dollar)
7 Places Greg Oden Would Rather Be Than Comic Con (Busted Coverage)
Search for the Florida Panthers Ice Dancers Begins (Sports By Brooks)